Steve Parr

Off to College…Out of Church?

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Maximized Leadership: Off to College…Out of Church?

In John Dickerson’s book The Great Evangelical Recession, you will find a sobering statistic about the students who grew up in your church and graduated in May. If they fit the typical profile of today’s college age young adults, two of the three will be leaving the church. I am writing this article in mid-summer because now is the time for your church to take action. As Tom Crites and I conducted research for our forthcoming book, Why They Stay which addresses how to help parents and church leaders make investments that keep children and teens connected to the church for a lifetime, we learned a valuable lesson that you should know about. The next 120 days are critical to the faith journey of those youth group members who just graduated.

Our research unveiled the importance of making the transition from “home church” to “a new church” in college for those who moved away from home. Almost 70% of High School graduates will enroll in college and what happens in the fall semester has a huge influence over whether they will still be attending church a decade later and beyond. Our research revealed that a student who moved off to college and immediately connected with a new congregation during the transition was 138% more likely to still be in church a decade later than one who moved and did not make the connection. I said that to say this. When students graduate from High School and are members of your congregation, the discipleship responsibility of the church has not concluded. I fear too many churches wash their hands at the conclusion of the High School career of their youth group members as if the “job is done.” It is not and the four to six months following graduation are critical. What is the strategy of your church to help those who graduated to connect with a new church in the place where they will be moving?

I don’t think the answer is complex but it does require some initiative. Here are a couple of quick thoughts:

  1. Someone has to take responsibility. Who in your church will take the lead in following up and ministering to the grads who move away in the next few months. It could be the pastor, a staff member, a Bible Study leader, or a volunteer. The key is that someone must take responsibility.
  2. Plan several forms of personal contact with the student who moves away in the summer and fall months. The object is not to “hound them” but to maintain a connection. They are more likely to get involved with another church if they are receiving ministry and encouragement from the home base.
  3. Send (or communicate) to those who move away recommended churches to visit. Many, if not most, have never had to look for a church before. Their parents have always taken care of that aspect of their lives. Orient them, prepare them, and take one step out by providing good recommendations in advance.
  4. Make occasional personal contacts and ask the question(s) straight out: What churches have you visited? Are you connected with a church yet? Even if the answer is “no,” you are keeping the subject on their spiritual radar and they are more likely to be in church next Sunday than if no one posed the question.
  5. Send “care packages” and remind them of the value and blessing of a faith community. They will have distractions but a taste of the past can serve a glue to keep them bonded.

Parents can apply these same principles. Look for the book, Why They Stay, coming in October. To learn more now, view a sermon I recently preached on this subject at Why Thy Stay Sermon or listen to this podcast which provides an in depth discussion and interview at Why They Stay Podcast.

Fight the Fat

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Maximized Leadership – Fight the Fat

To put you at ease at the outset I will say up front that this has nothing to do with your weight. I probably weighed no more than 140 pounds when I came out of college. Now I weigh approximately a lot! This is not about my weight or yours. You will also be glad to know that it is not about fighting against those who may be struggling with their weight. Though the subject is certainly worthy of our attention the context of the title has to do with the “fat” in an organization.

Marvin Schwan, the founder of the multi-billion dollar route delivery food company once said that “Sales covers sins. And lots of sales cover lots of sins.” In this context he was not discussing “sin” in the biblical sense but rather the mistakes, errors, and wastes within an organization. He points out that when times are good, organizations tend to let their standards slip and tend to be less attentive to budgets, efficiency, and spending. The good times enable the organization to look past the “sins.” The problem is that good times don’t last forever and the consequences of neglecting standards and budgets result in major challenges that are very frustrating to the team members when times get tougher.

How do you avoid being placed in that situation? He suggests that you operate the organization at all times as if “times were tough.” Always “fight the fat,” by keeping the sins of waste and inefficiency to a minimum and when tough times do come you will be positioned to deal with them in a way that is much less adverse on members of the organization.  How about your ministry? Your budget? Are you seeking to “fight the fat?” While this applies to any organization, those involved in ministries would do well to heed this advice given the cultural direction and the prognostications in books such as The Great Evangelical Recession. An effective leader acts as an optimist and plans as a realist.

Until next week….

What to do When You Anticipate a Low Attended Sunday

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What to do When You Anticipate a Low Attended Sunday
 
Having a large crowd at church can be energizing and having a small crowd can be discouraging to those who have responsibility for preaching on Sunday. It is in no way unspiritual to desire that more people, rather than less, to be present to hear a message from God’s Word. In North America, the two lowest attended Sundays of the year are generally the one closest to July 4th and the Sunday following Christmas. The reasons are more practical than spiritual. More families are traveling on these weekends for family or leisure. I propose that you pour greater energy into Sunday’s like Easter when you can anticipate higher attendance. The reason is that you know guests are likely to be present on those special days and it actually takes less effort to get more results. I unpack this in detail in my book The Coffee Shop That Changed a Church.
 
However, you should not totally neglect those two Sundays of the year when attendance is anticipated to be lower. While pointing out that more guests are present on higher attended Sundays, that does not mean that no guests are present on the low attended weekends. Therefore, here are a couple of thoughts on preparing for what you know will be a low attended service.
 
1.     Acknowledge in advance that many of your members will be traveling. Wish them well and encourage them to visit another church if they are traveling. That way you are not only encouraging the faithfulness of your members, you are helping a pastor in another community.
2.     Promote the subject of your message in advance. Give people a reason to be present by proposing a compelling subject that people want to hear about. Give your members a reason to invite friends.
3.     Are you going to be traveling yourself? Some pastors utilize these two weekends to be out of the pulpit themselves.  Here is the key. Do not advertise your absence to your congregation unless you have a speaker who you know will draw people to your services. The same principle should be communicated to your Bible study leaders. Whenever a leader announces his absence in advance, the attendance suffers even more. I appreciate that the members should be mature enough that it does not matter but not all of them are.
4.     Challenge the members who will be present to invite friends and family. Apply the law of large numbers: Many invitations result in more guests and fewer invitations result in smaller numbers of guests. While you have no control over attendance, your members do have control over how many guests are invited.
5.     Execute the service in the same way as if the worship center is full. When those leading worship “go through the motions” and fail to give their best, you are feeding a culture in your church that says that the July 4th and Christmas weekend services are the ones to miss. These services are tough enough as it is without adding to it.
6.     Plan to preach the gospel! It is always  relevant to any sized audience and though attendance may be lower, it could be a life-changing day to that guest in your service.
 
Don’t be discouraged by what you expect to be a low attended Sunday. Members being out of town is not a reflection of failure but of the blessing that many can get away for a break or to visit family. But, give them a reason to regret missing the service because another Sunday is coming a week later!

Does God Want Some Churches To Die?

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Maximized Leadership: Does God Want Some Churches To Die?

“If God wants our church to live, it will live, and if He wants it to die, it will die!” A church leader in a dying congregation made that statement to a friend of mine. His sentiment was in essence; “we are not changing anything even if we have to close the doors.” Of course, he spiritualized the issue in an effort to forfeit his personal responsibility. Churches do close their doors sometimes but it does not have to be. There are alternatives. The problem is that the alternatives require sacrifice, require the relinquishing of power, and result in changes. Some people would actually rather the doors close than sacrifice, release power, or change. The irony is that after the doors close, change has taken place, the facilities have been sacrificed, and power has been relinquished. However, since the doors have closed, no ministry takes place, no disciples are being made, and the gospel is not being shared from that location.

I appreciate that there are several layers to this issue including the fact that the church is not a building but rather resides in people. But, a local church is a gathering point where people network and serve together to worship, serve, and touch lives. It is always sad when any of these local gathering points disappear. Fewer of these gathering points results in fewer opportunities to accomplish the aforementioned. That is why we plant churches, in order to establish more of these gathering points or perhaps mission points or service points might better make the point. What are the alternatives for the dying congregation?

    • They could merge with another congregation.
    • They could allow a strong, healthy church to adopt them and give the sponsoring church full authority to make changes needed to survive.
    • They could turn the church over to a church planter and be absorbed by the new congregation.
    • They could invite a healthy church to send several families as missionaries for a year to give a leadership boost.
    • They could move services to 8:30am and give the 11:00 hour to a church plant to share their facilities.

 

None of these options is intended to eliminate the best possibility of all and that is for God to lead the congregation in a miraculous turn around. But, how often does that happen when the congregation falls well below twenty and into the single digits? The answer is “rarely.” Do not read too much into the numbers here because there is no wrong size church. But why let a congregation totally shut down when there are alternatives? If God wants a church to die, as the gentlemen suggested, that is not much of a compliment to that congregation or to its leaders. This is what I know; if the Lord tarries, I want my church serving and sharing Christ 100 years from now and beyond, even if I am no longer in control. If I am, that will be another miracle as I celebrate my 156th birthday. Can’t wait!

Equipping / By

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Why Some Leaders Get a Pass When They Make Mistakes

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Why Some Leaders Get a Pass When They Make Mistakes

I once thought that I made a mistake but it turned out that I was wrong. I could not resist that opening line. Though I am not a comedian, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. I hate to make mistakes and I make them all too often.  The good news is that you don’t have to be “mistake free” in order to be effective. You certainly don’t want to make the same mistakes over and over. Outstanding leaders seek to minimize their mistakes and any diligent organization should do likewise. The person who never admits that they have made mistakes commits perhaps an even more egregious error than committing a mistake in the first place.

Russ Gasdia was once ask what he considered to be the three characteristics of an effective leader. He replied, “humility, humility, humility. Effective leaders know they make mistakes, accept feedback from others to learn, admit that they don’t always know what’s right, and recognize that it is ‘not all about them.’ When they succeed they are humble. When they fail, they are humble. And lastly, they never think they are more important than their customer.”

Confidence is commendable but I believe we can all agree that arrogance is contemptible. Always do your best and seek to minimize your mistakes. However, you may have noticed that some leaders get “a pass” when they make mistakes and perhaps you can too. Those who get through the errors and continue to thrive have these qualities in common:

  1. They have established a pattern of excellence and effectiveness while big mistakes are the exception rather than the rule.
  2. They have focused on building relationships and therefore people know their motives are pure even if the outcome sometimes falls short.
  3. They tend to make long-term commitments and don’t quickly move from place to place.
  4. They tend to exercise grace themselves when others make mistakes.
  5. They are always purposefully progressing in their skills and leadership abilities.

Do not misunderstand the intent of this message. Egregious errors and moral failures, while they can be forgiven, will result in the forfeit of leadership opportunities. But effective leaders find a way to be strengthened by mistakes rather than crippled by them. Examine yourself in light of these five qualities and apply them to strengthen your leadership even amidst occasional mistakes.

*Paragraph 2 taken from chapter 2 of John G. Millers’ Outstanding!

Maximized Leadership: The Need To Lead (an important message for my senior adult friends)

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I like to drive. Whenever my family gets in the car I automatically go to the driver’s seat. We do not discuss it…that is just the way it happens. I remember when my oldest daughter turned fifteen. You know what happened. She wanted to get a learners permit. I had actually let her drive in the church parking lot on several occasions ever since she was about thirteen. Once she turned fifteen we got out on the road but I was still there to guide her and when needed to tell her what to do or where to turn. Then she turned sixteen. She passed her drivers exam and I gave her the keys. Now that was a scary moment. At that point she began making many of the decisions for herself. What if I had refused to equip her or to turn over the keys? You should know that she is thirty years of age now. However, when she was sixteen it was not only unsettling to let her drive but it was also risky. What if she were to have a wreck? What if she gets hurt? What if she hurts someone else? What if she breaks a law? What if she damages the car? Do I take the risk or do I hold her back? If I hold her back, how will she get around when she turns thirty?

I reluctantly turned the keys over and I am glad that I did. I’ll admit, she damaged the car, got a couple of speeding tickets, went some places I would prefer she not have gone, and caused me some grief and worry. But, it all turned out alright. She now drives to work, gets where she needs to go without me having to pick her up and take her everywhere, and actually drives to visit with me. I like that! The reality is that it would not have been healthy for me to withhold from her the opportunity to learn to drive, to actually drive, and then to allow her to be somewhat independent of me in her decision making. She still comes to me for counsel but since I released her to drive on her own, she is getting along just fine.

This whole story is true and it is also a metaphor for my senior adult friends. I am fast approaching your life stage and I really appreciate all you have done for the church and value what you are doing now. But, I have a question. How are you doing at turning over the keys? Are you still the one doing the driving in your church? Or have you invested in some younger leaders and given them the keys? If you do, it is risky. They will make decisions that are different than you may have and they will make some mistakes that would not have been made if you were driving. It can be really aggravating when they turn the radio to music on a station that you do not like. But, how can they learn to drive unless you allow them to…drive. Your influence is still crucial and your opinion is still valuable. I do know of some churches where the older leaders have refused to turn over the keys or to allow some of the younger members to drive. Interestingly, there are now no young people to give the keys to in some of these churches. They have all left to go to a church where they are allowed to drive. Who wants to sit in an infant’s car seat when they are old enough to drive themselves? Turning over the keys does not mean that your work is done or that your value is less. It reflects that you truly grasp what it has meant to “make disciples.” They still need you…but the next generation also has the need to lead. How are you doing at turning over the keys?

The Need for Speed

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Outstanding organizations are known for being fast. That does not mean they are “sloppy” with their work or that they are not deliberate in decision making. But people are drawn to them because they get good service and get it in a timely manner. When I am in a restaurant, I love my meal to be freshly prepared. But, I don’t want to wait three hours in order for that to happen. Being fast is not easily definable but you know when an organization is slow or unresponsive. We are admittedly the victims of a culture that is technologically advanced and has an expectation of quick quality service. Microwave ovens, cell phones, Google, and express lanes are just a few examples of modern technological factors.  Cultural advances have raised expectations and that expectation is growing rather than diminishing. That begs the question: What does it mean to “be fast” in your area of service or ministry?

 

  1. It means those who contact you by any means can expect a prompt and timely response. You may not be able to bring their question, concern, or need to a quick resolution, but you can get started on the resolution quickly. In the worst case scenario, you should respond the next business day. You should strive to make an initial response on the same day you receive contact. The ideal is to get back with them very quick. “But my workload is so great!” you  might say. That does not change the expectation of those making contact. Those who contact you for ministry and service are “your work.” You must work with your team to find a way. Remember that a quick acknowledgement of their need and a commitment to follow through will suffice if you are in a crunch. But you must follow up soon.
  2. It means that you meet deadlines and that you communicate on those occasions when it is not possible to meet the deadline. I work from a task list and I rarely schedule something to be done the day of or the day before it is due. If something is due on Friday, I put it on my task list for Wednesday (or even earlier if it is a larger project). I am typing this post on Wednesday to go out next week. That builds in a buffer for me in the event of unforeseen demands on my schedule. Meeting deadlines is directly related to your time management skills and that is an area you must always seek to develop given the demanding culture in which we serve.
  3. It means that you seek to provide an environment where quick decisions can be made. That is a tall task in a larger organization. Develop relationships and systems that allow for quick decisions to be made so that your team and your constituents can get a timely response to their ministry needs.

That went by fast! Until next time….

How Effective Churches Follow Up on First Time Guests

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I shared in my previous post how to respond if few or no guests are attending your church or group. I wanted to follow up by sharing how effective churches follow up on first time guests. You will find that the churches that do well have a system.  Now that system can vary from church to church in the details but the systems share these four traits in common:

 

  1. The church has a “system.” When a guest visits for the first time a process is triggered that automatically assures that several things will happen within the next week. It begins with seeking to register as many guests as possible by any means possible to harvest contact information.
  2. The church will provide a “quick touch” of some kind within 24 hours. The touch could be a call, email, text, or social media contact, but you can be assured the visit of the guest will be acknowledged quickly and without fail.
  3. Someone from the church will provide a “personal touch” during the following week. This interaction will be warm, encouraging, and person to person. It may or may not be in person but it will be personal. The strongest “personal touch” is to find a way to share a meal or coffee and dessert. A phone call is better than no touch but the more personal, the better.
  4. The church will make “multiple touches” over the coming weeks.  This will better insure that a ministry touch is made. Emails can be missed. Texts can be overlooked. Visits can be made to find no one at home. Calls can go to voice mail. Social media posts may not be viewed. Multiple touches increase the likelihood that a connection will be made.

 

The touches found in the churches systems do not represent the end of the process, but rather the beginning. The key is to move the guests toward relationships with members. The touches can get a guest to return but they will only assimilate if relationships are developed. However, the first touches are an important link in the chain. What is your church doing that is “automatic” once a guest visits?