Steve Parr

Who is influencing your children? You certainly are but who else? Is there a way to give your children a spiritual edge that will strengthen their faith? The answer is “yes” and this video will give you tangible ways that you can build a network of spiritual influence that increases the likelihood that your children will be faithfully serving the Lord when they are adults.

 

Over the last several months I have shared videos designed specifically for parents but beneficial for any and all who care for teens and kids. The January video was the Driver of a Sticky Faith. I followed up in February with a second video that described The Power of First Steps. The third in March was entitled Balancing Bonding and Boundaries. In April you learned about The Ultimate Home Field Advantage. The May video spoke of The Necessity of Modeling Church Engagement. These videos are based on the research conducted by Tom Crites and I to discover what keeps kids connected to church into their adult lives and published in our book, Why They Stay.

 

June is now here and I want to invite you to view the sixth video in the series. In this thirty-minute video, I am speaking to parents about the need of purposefully surrounding your children with other godly influencers. You will discover the Biblical roots as well as the research that supports the principles you will learn. Trust me when I tell you that you will be encouraged as a parent, better equipped to help your children as well as other parents and learn principles that can maximize your leadership. Here we go…

The organization that I serve currently has a team that has been assigned the responsibility of seeking the next CEO to replace a long-tenured and well-beloved leader. In addition, my home church has a team similarly assigned to seek the replacement of a well-respected pastor to lead an anchor church in our state. These are strange days for me with these events converging together but what a great time to learn more about being an effective leader.

One common discussion I have observed in both circumstances is the issue of how old the next leader should ideally be. The consensus in both is that they need someone in their thirties who has at least forty years of experience. No, that is not a mistaken sentence but you would be right if you observed that the math does not add up. When Jeff Iorg, President of Gateway Seminary, speaks of leadership, he broadly divides the journey into three stages. They are as follows;

1. The LEARNING stage at which point the leaders tends to be younger, getting educated, getting early experience, observing leadership, and growing.
2. The LEADING stage at which point opportunities emerge which gives the learned leader opportunities to apply what has been learned, to implement their unique strategic actions on their organization, to innovate, and to expand their sphere of influence.
3. The LEGACY stage at which point they have proven themselves, experienced both successes and failures, learned from a breadth of experience, and begin to leave in their wake other leaders who have been mentored and influenced by their work.

However, the stages are not strictly linear. A young leader is already beginning to establish the roots of a legacy. An experienced leader continues to learn throughout his or her life. Leadership takes place from the outset. In the scriptures, Timothy appears to balk at leadership using his youth as an excuse. Moses appears to be hesitant thinking he is too old and unskilled at public presentation skills. The Bible teaches a lesson that is relevant for all but especially for the believer. Leadership is not ultimately about your title, your level of charisma, or your age. How old are you right now? The reason I ask is that I want you to know that you are at the perfect age to be a leader…as am I. Leadership is not measured by age but by your willingness to influence, grow and lead. You can begin when young and apply it when old. That is how effective leaders maximize their leadership.

Productive? Effective leaders are very productive. They get a lot of work done and have the ability to do more with less. They can do more with fewer resources and with less time than the average person. They are productive. They can get more done in six to seven hours than a counterpart can in two days. It is not because they are smarter, have higher degrees, have fancier titles, have more time available, or have fewer responsibilities. As a matter of fact, they usually have more responsibility but they are “productive.” That is what makes them so valuable and why they are effective. How about you?

 

What is it that leaders do that help them to get a higher volume of work done?

 

1. They have very clear priorities and they will neglect lesser things to give time to the priorities. What are your priorities? Do you know what they are? Do those around you, especially your team members, know what they are? You can have three to five and maybe even six. But, if you have fifteen priorities you really do not have any. The next point is equally important.
2. They have priorities that drive their group, business, organization, church, or staff toward accomplishing the objectives of that to which they are called to lead. For example, if my business is to oversee three hardware stores and my first priority is to get better quality vending machines for my employees, though I have a priority it does me little or no good. How is it that your priorities are helping you guide and drive those you lead toward success (in whatever way that would be defined for those you lead)?
3. They do well at managing clutter. Clutter can come in the form of documents, calls, emails, texts, letters, questions, or anything else that occupies time and can quickly become overwhelming. Every item needs enough attention to determine a response but not enough to distract you from good priorities. The highest-level leader brings others into the process whether, staff, an assistant, an intern or a volunteer who helps manage, respond to, or eliminate items before they become clutter. He or she understands the difference between urgent items and important items. Those things that appear urgent may or may not be important. The leader and those who work alongside filter items through priorities and then they respond, delegate, file it, place it on a task list, or they eliminate it. It will not be on a stack on their desk because it has been taken care of or placed where needed with a person or designated time or day to be dealt with later.
4. They have a system of personal time management. Once again, the highest-level leaders may have someone like a chief of staff or executive assistant who does this for them. Most leaders do not have that prerogative. Therefore, they have a system for managing their personal calendar and their daily tasks. I know before I go each day the tasks that I will be focused on for the next day. How about you? You will note that several leaders have several different systems but they do all have one. What is yours? “I’m not that organized,” you say. That is why you need a system!

 

What is the benefit of adopting these principles in your work? It makes you productive. It makes you valuable to your organization and if something happens where you are, there are no worries because others will soon be knocking on your door. Don’t be the average Joe. If you are you will never be able to maximize your leadership.

Nobody knows everything. Leaders depend on assistants, team members and/or staff to serve as a reservoir of information that the team or organization needs to carry out its mission. Whether you are a CEO, a staff member, team member or a fellow member, you will eventually get asked a question that you don’t know the answer to. The way you respond goes a long way toward elevating or eroding your credibility, influence, and perception of your competence as a leader. Here are the obvious things leaders should not do when asked a question they do not know the answer to:

1. They should not lie.
2. They should not make up an answer.
3. They should not say “I don’t know.”

Isn’t number three contradictory to the first two? Not at all if you are skilled at a leader-level response. Here are several ways you can and should respond when you do not know the answer:

1. “Let me get back with you because I want to do a bit more research to make sure I can be as accurate as possible with my response.” In this case, you bought time without looking like you are out of the loop.
2. “I’m actually not the best person to ask but I’ll get you an answer. I’ll be back in touch soon.”
3. “Due to confidentiality, I’m not at liberty to share. You need to see ______________.” Don’t use this response if you have no knowledge. This is a situation where you don’t know details and it may be that you are not supposed to know. You are not saying if you know or not. You are just pointing them to the correct source without appearing to be out of the loop.
4. “I’m not totally sure but I can find out and get back with you.”
5. If you have incomplete information… “My understanding is _______________, but I’m not the authority on that question. You need to speak with _____________. Do you want me to help you get connected with them?”

 Remember this as a leader. When you say, “I don’t know” it makes you look weak. If you say, “I don’t know” as a way to damage the other person or team to undermine them or to make yourself look better, that is at best poor demonstration of leadership skills and at worst insubordination. You will not always know the answer but a skilled leader will not appear unaware or be lacking in knowledge. While you should be honest you should not forfeit the perception others have of your competence or do damage to other decision makers by saying “I don’t know.” One last thing. I am not talking about trivia here. “What did the president have for lunch yesterday?” I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. You’re smart enough to make that distinction of when it matters and when it doesn’t. And you will if you desire to maximize your leadership!

I like change so long as I agree with it!

 

That line always gets a laugh when I preach or speak to a group and the subject of change arises. Change is always taking place in today’s culture and the rate of change has certainly increased. Here are four quick facts that I have learned about change.

 

1. Change is normal.
2. Change should be expected.
3. Change is an opportunity.
4. Change is a challenge that will reveal both your character and the level of your leadership ability.

 

I would add that not all changes are equal. Shifting a weekly staff meeting to an earlier starting time is not the equivalent of resource losses that result in the release of staff members from employment. Some changes such as the latter are “severe.” What do you do when your organization or church experiences severe change?

 

1. Revisit the vision and purpose of your organization or your church. Does this change affect that vision? The answer will ordinarily be “no.” Therefore, it is important for you to focus more intently on the vision and purpose and just as importantly to help others on the team to do likewise.
2. Re-communicate the vision and priorities. You will likely need to do this frequently during severe change. You may need to re-prioritize for a season or even permanently depending on the nature of the change. Everyone needs to do this but the higher up in the organization or the team the greater the responsibility. However, if you are unsure, don’t assume anything. Take the initiative to pull key team members together and clarify the priorities and then err on the side of over communication. This exercise will not resolve every challenge but will serve to increase stability during the change.
3. Be conservative with resources and aggressive with strategy. I do understand the irony of this point but both are equally important. Perhaps the change is not related to a financial crisis. Don’t let it become one by being undisciplined about resources when things get shaky. On the other hand, if you do not push forward with strategic plans to the degree that it is possible, you will lose customers or followers who may inadvertently assume you are shutting down, backing up, or that you have lost your passion and vision.
4. Take an account of your own leadership journey. Change, and more importantly severe change, will reveal a lot about you. If you want to see someone’s true character, watch how they conduct themselves when the going gets tough. The experience of change and severe change is necessary for you to develop into the leader that God intends for you to be. How will you do? Or, how are you doing? You don’t have to like the change or even agree with the change to embrace the opportunity to measure your journey, to grow in your leadership skills, and to prepare for future changes. That’s right. More changes stand in front of you and many will be severe. For the effective leader, it is an opportunity to maximize their leadership.

“Human beings are social animals. They want to belong. They want to be part of an organization that has meaning and by extension, helps give their lives meaning.”    – Robert Steven Kaplan

 

The vision of your organization, church, or business serves to inspire, give direction, keep you on course, and assist in prioritizing and decision-making. It clearly communicates where you want the organization to be in the future years and points everyone in that direction. It differs from your purpose which is unchanging. The vision adapts and even changes over time but it should never be unclear what it is at the present. What is your vision for the group, team, or organization you lead? Does everyone know what it is? Here are several ways that leaders undermine their own vision resulting in uninspired followers, fewer followers, confusion, unclear priorities and poor decision making.

 

1. When the key leaders neglect relationships. What does that have to do with “vision” you might ask? People will not care about the vision if they do not care about and respect the leader…. personally. Articulating a vision is a wasted concept if they cannot trust the person who is trying to lead them there. Vision is an important tool but relationships are an imperative vehicle to get you there.
2. When you fail to serve people. Every organization has customers. Businesses have vendors, clients, and shoppers. Churches have members and a community that they desire to impact. Organizations have Boards, volunteers, financial contributors, and followers. They are all customers though that may not be a term that feels right whenever you make reference to them. The term in this instance is intended to summarize those people internal and external to your organization who interact through leadership, support, or financial interactions. Treating customers poorly, by whatever language you use to describe them, will turn your vision into nothing more than a cliché on a bulletin board or a brochure.
3. When you fail to adapt and innovate. “Retro” can be fun, create sentimental feelings, and even feel comfortable as you grow older. However, it can always sabotage your vision. When those you lead are more focused on the experiences from the past than the possibilities of the future, you are destined for decline. Do not confuse this thought with maintaining focus on fundamentals and being driven by principles. On the other hand, innovation in and of itself will not make you effective. Core values are critical but stagnation is limiting at best and devastating at worst. You live in a changing world and failure to adapt to advancement makes your vision appear as irrelevant. If you don’t believe this is true, drive down to the Blockbuster Video Store in your neighborhood and ask them.
4. When you do not align all key players around the vision. Have you ever been in a tug of war? While it can be a fun competition, it is not the wisest way to experience advancement. How would it be different if both teams pulled from the same side? Do you have several departments, divisions, ministries, teams? Are they all pulling you toward a common vision or are they pulling in their own direction? If so, they are likely pulling against one another. Failure to share the vision and to keep key leaders, staff, or employees pulling in the same direction makes the vision only a dream instead of a future reality.

I assume you have a great vision and you should. Don’t make these mistakes that inadvertently get in the way of where you ultimately desire your organization to go. Avoid these and you will maximize your leadership!

 

Some portions adapted from Chapter One of Robert Kaplan’s What to Ask The Person in the Mirror.

 

Robert Kaplan states that “almost without exception, successful leaders go through significant periods of time in which they feel confused, discouraged, and unsure of themselves and their decisions.” They will not likely appear confused, discouraged, or unsure in front of their followers and they shouldn’t. The followers pick up on queues from the leader and they always need to see a confident and steady hand. However, the reality for the leader is responsibility, dealing with lots of problems, critical decision making, frequent second-guessing by others, criticism if bad decisions are made, and even criticism when good decisions are made. How do they overcome those periods of uncertainty?

First, they keep focusing on both the vision and priorities. They know what they are because they helped to craft them. If he or she owns a business, they may have established them unilaterally. If one leads from the middle, he or she can quote the vision and list the priorities without exception. Both the vision and the priorities keep everything moving in the right direction even when the fog of uncertainty seems to briefly confuse and distract.

Second, they manage their time well. This skill allows them to place their greatest energy on the things that make the greatest difference. Those who are more entrepreneurial and less administrative may enlist or employ someone to keep their time well ordered. That person could be a chief of staff (by any title), an executive assistant, a gifted secretary, or an associate. A mismatch between time spent and priorities will only add to discouragement, confusion, and lack of forward progress.

Third, they give and receive feedback. They surround themselves with people they trust who can push back, disagree, and play the “devil’s advocate.” The key is “trust.” Some people disagree and criticize to undermine the leader. That is called “insubordination” and is a fire-able offense. Other people disagree and critique even more adamantly but do so in order to strengthen both the leader and organization they serve. They will state their point, argue their case, seek to influence, but the leader knows that ultimately, they are loyal and will implement the decision that the executive or key leader has the right and responsibility to make. Less confusion and doubt abounds when trust is developed and honest feedback is received.

Fourth, they make sure everyone in the organization is aligned around a common vision and priorities. It is the responsibility of the leader to communicate them, evaluate based on them, and to align everyone around them. The larger the organization, church, or business, the more difficult this task will be. Groups inside the organization will always gravitate toward “silo-ing” in their departments or ministries. The effective leader keeps his or her foot on the accelerator and leads toward total alignment always.

Fifth is the most important in the world in which I live. For those who lead a church or Christian organization, prayer, time in God’s word, and the pursuit of Godly wisdom is paramount. For those in the secular world, I personally believe you would likewise benefit greatly. In any case, you will get confused, discouraged, and unsure at times. You are not alone. Hit the reset button and renew your focus on the most important things and you will be on the way to maximizing your leadership.

Some points adapted from chapter one of Robert Kaplan’s What to Ask The Person in The Mirror.