Steve Parr

Last week I wrote the first of four posts introducing you to three of twelve books that have made me a better leader and give balance to my life and leadership. Go here to see the introduction if you missed that article. [Click Here] In addition to daily Bible reading, I am sharing a list of twelve books. Admittedly the list is not exhaustive, the books are not all literary classics, and the list is broadly alphabetical and not in priority order.

Do you desire to grow in your leadership? Do you want balance in your relationships as well as skill in your leadership? If so, the first three I recommended included Boundaries by Cloud, Developing the Leader Within You by Maxwell, and Developing the Leaders Around You by Maxwell. Here are numbers four through six:

4. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni. The writer takes you on a fictional journey documenting the challenges of a new supervisor taking over leadership of a struggling group of employees. The book is secular, but the principles you will learn are applicable to any group, congregation, staff, or organization that aspires to function more effectively. It will be an enjoyable read, worth the time, and will improve your leadership ability if you absorb the lessons he teaches.
5. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. What has this got to do with leadership? An effective leader has a healthy balance in life and no relationship affects that balance more than the connection with your spouse. This book will strengthen your marriage, but it does more. It is important for a leader to know what motivates and inspires people. This book will not only strengthen your marriage, but will help you to be a better parent, stronger in relationships, and more skilled at leading a staff, team, and/or organization.
6. His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage by William F. Harley Jr. So here is the second book of twelve on marriage that I submit will strengthen your leadership. It is a classic in my opinion and should be read by singles, engaged couples, and married couples alike. Leadership rides on the rail of strong relationships. Males and females have unique needs and the book addresses specifically how those apply to a marriage, but you can draw more general clues to the leadership of the opposite gender if you have the wisdom to make appropriate application. It is worth the read simply to strengthen your marriage or to prepare you for the possibility in the future if you are single or divorced.

That’s three more books that will maximize your leadership. I have six more to go. Don’t miss next week.

Everyone reads, but not everyone reads books. I have seen conflicting statistics about the number of people who read books and the number of books that are read. But this I believe from Mark Twain;

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

I listen regularly to Dave Ramsey and one thing he enjoys doing is interviewing millionaires to determine how they acquired their wealth. He notes that very few millionaires inherit their wealth. One common trait about self-made millionaires is that they are avid readers of non-fiction books. My comment here is not about money, but about the stewardship and leadership that propels one forward in their life. I read books and I want to share over the course of the next few weeks twelve books that have made me a better leader and give balance to my life and leadership.

I read from the Bible every day and credit that discipline with the most profound influence on my life. But that is not to suggest that other books have not shaped my leadership. Some of the works are specifically about leadership, others about marriage and parenting, and a couple may surprise you in their subject matter. [Full disclosure] I have admittedly included one of my own books because the research and writing had an extreme impact on my life and I am confident that it belongs on the list. A few notes about my list:

• These are not necessarily literary classics.
• These are not necessarily high level academic works.
• These are not all Christian works (for my ministry friends).
• These are not listed in priority order. They are broadly listed alphabetically.
• The list is not exhaustive. I could list 25, 50, or 100. I chose 12 for this exercise.
• I believer every leader and aspiring leader would do well to read all of these.

With that background, allow me to introduce you to the first three that I recommend.

1. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud. The subtitle clearly explains what the book is about and you will never excel in leadership without this essential skill. Leaders learn to prioritize and know when and how to say “no.” Do you?
2. Developing the Leader Within You by John Maxwell. This book is Leadership 101. It is a great synopsis of what Maxwell believes leadership is and how you can be a leader, which he defines as a person of influence. I discovered that I am a “learned leader” when I read this classic about 25 years ago. It propelled me forward as a leader and should be in any aspiring leader’s library.
3. Developing the Leaders Around You by John Maxwell. I guess you could call this Leadership 201. The title is descriptive as his second volume instructs and inspires you to become a leader of leaders instead of simply being a leader of followers. I personally believe that the primary task of a leader is to develop additional leaders. If so, whatever your task, mission, job, or assignment, you will progress more rapidly and be more effective. This book will help you do just that.

That’s three books that will maximize your leadership. I have nine more to go. Don’t miss next week.

What is the number one determining factor that indicates whether a child who grows up in church will be there as an adult? For this week’s leadership post I want to invite you to watch this 27 minute video as I share with parents about The Driver of a Sticky Faith.

 

There are actually eight of these videos but I am going to spread them out at a rate of about one per month. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, or an adult who loves teens and kids, this presentation will be of great value to you. Whoever you are and whatever you do, I can assure you that viewing this video is another way to maximize your leadership! I hope you will share with others.

 

The Driver of a Sticky Faith

Thanks so much for reading my “Maximized Leadership” blog. This is my last post for 2017 and I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you will often visit www.steveparr.net to see previous posts as well as to see resources and messages that I have developed. Would you take a moment to read about my three ministry priorities for 2018, pray for my ministry, and consider if I may be of any service to you, your church, or your organization.

Priority One- A: I will be doing all I can to support and develop the staff of the Georgia Baptist Mission Board. I serve as the V.P. of Staff Coordination & Development and have the high privilege of serving alongside a talented and committed team of leaders. My desire is that they would be more effective because of the actions I take to encourage and develop their leadership.

Priority One- B: I will be leading the Georgia Baptist Mission Board and Georgia Churches in an initiative called #reachingnextgen. If it is not obvious, the focus is on helping churches to be more effective in reaching the next generation. Please visit www.reachingnextgen.net to learn more.

Priority Two: I will continue to spend time equipping leaders particularly in churches. The methods are a blend of speaking at events, preaching, blogging, and personal consultations. Please contact me at sparr@gabaptist.org if your church, business, or organization needs to be challenged, encouraged, trained, or developed to be more effective at whatever God has called you to do. Most of my events revolve around my book, Why They Stay, as well as reaching the next generation, but I am often called upon as an inspirational speaker for multi-church and local church events on a variety of subjects as well as preaching invitations.

Priority Three: This one is new and I want you to know about it. Are you ever looking for a “Banquet Speaker?” I recently piloted an event that was geared toward the lighter side of communication. I was a keynote banquet speaker and shared about thirty minutes of humor (comedy) concluding with a brief challenging message. It went great and this is something I want to continue to develop. Alan Hall was the coordinator of that event and his email is mulberryassociation@gmail.com. Contact him and ask how it went. I am willing to do six of these next year at no cost (cover my expenses only). These are first come, first serve and are based on my calendar being open. Keep me in mind now and in the future if you know of Banquet-type events geared toward a fun evening with an inspiring message.

Thanks for following and reading. Until next year…

I had some friends back in High School that I imagine you can relate to. You had friends and classmates just like these. Some were superior athletes that never played beyond High School and some were not even on the field for their senior seasons. I had other friends who had “off the chart” intellect. They trumped my intelligence by dozens of points, but made bad grades and never went to college. In most cases, these friends went on to live lives that were far below their potential and quite frankly have made a mess of their lives as adults. It’s sad. They had high I.Q.s (Intelligence Quotients) and natural physical attributes, but were sabotaged by low A.Q.s.

I have observed that a high Attitude Quotient is superior to high I.Q.s, degrees, good looks, or family heritage. You can observe this in a classroom in a local school. Children and teens with lower I.Q.s possessing good attitudes out performing academically other students with higher I.Q.s combined with bad attitudes. This is the great dynamic of maximizing leadership. Your I.Q., while it can be slightly raised, is primarily inherent while an attitude is a daily choice that can be dramatically improved by anyone who is willing. I have found the same principle to be true in ministry. For example, in the enlistment of Bible study leaders for my church, and while theology is very important, I would always prefer a leader with little theological training, but possesses passion and a great attitude over another who is intellectually knowledgeable of theology but lacks passion and has a poor attitude.

I have expectations for those who serve alongside me. Give me someone with a great attitude and their skills will improve. Give me someone with a great attitude and they will overcome mistakes and shortcomings. Give me someone with a great attitude and they will help create a much better environment to work in. Give me someone with a great attitude and we will move forward. Give me someone with a bad attitude and I will quickly give them back! While tolerance may be a virtue I admittedly have no tolerance for bad attitudes. This should be a “no-brainer” in the Christian community since believers should seek the “attitude of Christ.” As I said, “it should be.” Always be attentive to your A.Q. as well as that of your team members and you will maximize your leadership!

No one ever sets out to be an ineffective leader. However, whether at work, on a team, in a business, or at church, you do not have to be a genius to observe that not all leaders are equal in their abilities. What distinguishes the effective from the ineffective? Is it their personality? Their educational background? Their level of charisma? Their intelligence? Certainly, all of those criteria can be an asset, but they do not automatically make one effective.

A study by Telemetric International of over 16,000 executive leaders revealed some interesting contrasts between those who were more and less effective in their leadership. They were as follows:

1. Those who were most effective, tended to be more concerned with people (personally) than with profits (results). The result was a group of team members (followers, employees, staff) who worked extraordinarily hard resulting in the success and progress of the organization. By contrast, the weaker leaders in the survey tended to be more preoccupied with their own personal security than the needs of others.
2. Those who were most effective viewed the team members (followers, employees, staff) optimistically. They tended to think the best and expect the best of people. The ineffective leaders tended to distrust their team and their abilities and commitment.
3. Those who were most effective sought to interact with their team members (followers, employees, staff) seeking advice and input on issues like vision, strategy, problems, and solutions. Those who were ineffective tended to only seek input from others on the executive level.
4. Those who were most effective were active listeners. They tended to be personable and sought out personal input and interaction with others. Those who were ineffective avoided personal communication, leading from the office, and relying almost exclusively on written policies and procedures.

While education is of great value, you do not need an M.B.A. or a PH.D. to be effective. What you do need is an attitude that is more “others-centered” than “self-centered.” When you do, you will be on your way to maximizing your leadership!

 

Mo-men-tum: The strength or force something has when it is moving. Momentum in organizational leadership or ministry is a good thing. You can make progress toward your mission with continued forward movement, even when smaller problems arise, or when a leader needs to briefly slow down, or when a change takes place within the organization. Despite the interruption, the organization continues forward. Ideally a leader will make decisions that propel his or her teams or followers forward and no one will notice the natural interruptions that inevitably take place.

 

There is another side to the equation. Some leaders stall or reverse momentum. The result can be a lack of growth and ultimately decline if the momentum cannot be regained. All leaders are vulnerable to circumstances beyond their control which can decrease momentum. Effective leaders prepare for those eventualities developing systems, policies, and best practices to minimize the effect of those external speed bumps. Unfortunately, some leaders personally cause the erosion of the momentum. Here are some ways that weak leaders, kill momentum:

 

1. When the leader loses or lacks passion. The leader sets the tone and his or her followers will rarely have more enthusiasm for the mission and work than the leader. If you are not “pumped” about what your organization is doing, then why should anyone else be?

 

2. When the leader disconnects from the team members. Contrary to the opinion of some, you cannot lead from behind. That is not a political commentary or intended as an insult to the one who proposed it. You must be visible, out front, and continually rallying followers toward the objective.

 

3. When the leader’s recollections of past victories are spoken about more than dreams of future possibilities. Every leader should remember the past, respect the past, learn from the past, but lead into the future. Yesterday’s victories will not guarantee tomorrows successes. In addition, younger leaders and followers want to hear a vision for the future with more frequency than reveling about the “good ole days.”

 

4. When new leaders are not being developed. The primary function of an effective leader is to develop new leaders. You cannot have too many. Only one can be the “lead dog” but an effective leader is primarily a “leader of leaders” rather than a “leader of followers.”

 

5. When a leader relies on momentum. A leader should desire momentum. He or she should work to generate it. But, the effective leader works and prays as if the momentum will disappear within the week if they are not diligent. Therefore, while it may be necessary to slow down at sometimes, they never coast. They could because they have momentum. But, they don’t.

 

That is why they are so effective in their leadership. What about you? Are your actions generating momentum or killing it? Learn these important lessons and you will maximize your leadership.

Outstanding organizations are known for being fast. That does not mean they are “sloppy” with their work or that they are not deliberate in decision making. But people are drawn to them because they get good service and get it in a timely manner. When I am in a restaurant, I love my meal to be freshly prepared. But, I don’t want to wait three hours in order for that to happen. Being fast is not easily definable but you know when an organization is slow or unresponsive. We are admittedly the victims of a culture that is technologically advanced and has an expectation of quick quality service. Microwave ovens, cell phones, Google, and express lanes are just a few examples of modern technological factors. Cultural advances have raised expectations and that expectation is growing rather than diminishing. That begs the question: What does it mean to “be fast” in your area of service or ministry?

1. It means those who contact you by any means can expect a prompt and timely response. You may not be able to bring their questions, concern, or need to a quick resolution, but you can get started on the resolution quickly. In the worst case scenario, you should respond the next business day. You should strive to make an initial response on the same day you receive contact. The ideal is to get back with them very quickly. “But my workload is so great!” you might say. That does not change the expectation of those making contact. Those who contact you for ministry and service are “your work.” You must work with your team to find a way. Remember that a quick acknowledgement of their need and a commitment to follow through will suffice if you are in a crunch. But you must follow up soon.

2. It means that you meet deadlines and that you communicate on those occasions when it is not possible to meet the deadline. I work from a task list and I rarely schedule something to be done the day of or the day before it is due. If something is due on Friday, I put it on my task list for Wednesday (or even earlier if it is a larger project). I am typing this post on Thursday to go out on the following Monday. That builds in a buffer for me in the event of unforeseen demands on my schedule. Meeting deadlines is directly related to your time management skills and that is an area you must always seek to develop given the demanding culture in which we serve.

3. It means that you seek to provide an environment where quick decisions can be made. That is a tall task in a larger organization. Develop relationships and systems that allow for quick decisions to be made so that your team and your constituents can get a timely response to their ministry needs.

That went by fast! Until next time….

 

A leader possesses a natural desire to thrive. An effective leader wants to thrive while helping those around him or her to thrive also. The best leaders do not focus exclusively on their own success. To do so would be narcissistic, which is counter intuitive to effective leadership. In a multi-layered organization where multiple staff members serve, multiple departments or ministries conduct work, and workers perform a variety of different functions, the tendency is to focus on the task of the department without regard to the needs of the other teams. This tendency is known as “silo-ing.” It is not always intentional, but it is always detrimental to the mission of the organization.

 

A leader or team member in a department or ministry should stand up for their team. It is healthy to have a passion for the task assigned, to have the expertise, to defend the team members, and to carry the banner for his or her area of assignment. However, each team member should recognize that they play a role on a larger team. Failure to do so can lead to unhealthy competition within the organization and lack of cooperation in accomplishing the ultimate mission. Here are three ways that leaders and team members contribute to the silo effect and note that all are avoidable and correctable:

 

1. Operating as if me or my team is exempt from standards, procedures, rules, policies, or expectations communicated by organizational leaders.

2. Planning activities, events, meetings, and/or developing strategies without regard to what any other team in the organization is doing.

3. Operating as if what my team does is superior to what other teams are assigned to do.

This can happen in a business. It can happen in a religious organization. It can happen in a church. As a matter of fact, Paul tackled this very issue in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27. Seek to thrive in your assignment, but do so in a way that helps others to thrive also. Doing your part to minimize the silo effect is one key to making it happen.

I sure do like it when things are going well. It is so easy to have a positive and healthy attitude when things are going my way. When I am healthy, my family is healthy, nothing is in disrepair, my kids are behaving, my bills are paid, the sun is shining, a vacation is right in front of me, and God is blessing me, it takes no effort to have a good attitude. However, when you reverse even one of those factors (and the list is not exhaustive, but illustrative) it is easy to fall prey to a bad attitude. When that happens, it affects my family, my work, and even my faith if I do not watch my thinking. That is really what an attitude is all about. A good attitude is the result of healthy thinking and a bad attitude is a result of unhealthy thinking.

John Maxwell addresses this in chapter eight of his book, The Winning Attitude: Your Key to Personal Success. He suggests four rules that I try to live by and I thought they might be encouraging to you. They are…

1. Maintain the right attitude when the “going gets tough.” Anyone can have a good attitude when things are going well. Jesus shares a good example in the Sermon on the Mount. He said that if you love those who love you and despise those who hate you, then so what? Anyone can do that. He went on to say that one of the qualities that distinguishes His followers is that they love those who love them and they love their enemies as well. How? Because they base their actions on healthy thinking rather than fickle feelings. The challenge here is not to be fake or inauthentic. It is not a matter of always having a smile on your face. However, leaders, and more specifically spiritual leaders should model that a good attitude can be displayed even when things don’t go the right way.

 

2. Realize that the “rough weather” will not last forever. If it is not raining where you are today, you can count on the fact that it will eventually. It may mist, sprinkle, fall lightly, pour down, thunder, flood, and might even spawn a tornado. You never know how severe but you do know that it will rain. Here is what else you know. The rain or the storm will not last. The sun will shine again. It may not seem like it when you are in the midst of the storm. Everything is temporary including your present circumstance. Maintain the right attitude even in the storm and you will be an inspiration to others. When you show you can get through your storms you encourage others that they will be able to do likewise.

 

3. Try to make major decisions before the storm. This is a key point that separates effective leaders from others. They do not wish for storms or look forward to them. But they do prepare. You do that by developing standards, procedures, good budgeting, building strong team members, and contingencies for the worst-case scenarios. My wife and I just recently purchased a long-term care policy as the next step in preparing for a future that will soon be in the senior stage. I don’t ever plan to use it by the way. But, if that storm comes it sure will be easier for my kids or my spouse or for me. Those are the kinds of things leaders do. They make major decisions in advance of the storm that provides safeguards and stability when the storms inevitably arise.

 

4. Keep in contact with the control tower. That is what pilots do and even more so when they encounter difficulty. They allow someone else with a greater perspective to take control and give guidance. One of the keys in this regard is to “keep in contact.” Too many leaders get desperate and call upon God when things begin to crash. It is often too late. If you truly want to maximize your leadership, be sure to develop and maintain a relationship with the one who is a master of leadership. This is a great time to consider who that is. I write this in the midst of the Christmas season. And I believe that it is none other than the Lord Jesus Christ. Are you in contact? I am and that is the key thing I do to maximize my leadership!