Intentional

I love to compete. I don’t’ know that you can tell from my 56 year old body but I actually possess a pretty good sense of balance and coordination. Although I never excelled enough in athletics enough to play on the college level, I have always been able to pick up any game or sport and to become competitive pretty quickly.  I played baseball, basketball, and football growing up and in my adult life have golfed, bowled, played tennis, played softball, and some basketball just to name a few. We can play horseshoes, ping pong, corn hole, or about any other game and I won’t suggest that I will beat you but I will give you a run for your money. [“He who puts on his armor should not boast like he who takes it off” as the Bible says.] I like to compete. As a child my closet was filled with games. My neighborhood was the junior version of the NBA-NFL-MLB and I was the commissioner organizing games, leagues, and tournaments on weekends and throughout the summer beginning at about age six.

 

Competing can be an attribute or a detriment depending on your attitude. I like to win but I don’t consider myself a sore loser. There is always another opportunity to compete and I now possess the added advantage of complaining about some ailing body part that impeded my ability. A competitive spirit can help you excel in your work if it drives you to do your best and to maximize your potential. However, it can be a detriment if you find yourself competing against your fellow team members. I am not referring to a healthy competitive spirit where you seek to be your best. I am referring to an unhealthy competitive spirit that would lead you to “talk down other staff members” in order to make you look better (they lose and you win), or you choose not to support an idea that you did not create (they lose and you can claim it’s not your fault), or you choose not to communicate with another ministry area (you look good and they look bad). It is okay to be competitive, but beware of competing against your own team.

 

John G. Miller concludes chapter fourteen of his book, Outstanding: 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional with this thought: “Its stated in the Bible: ‘A house divided against itself cannot stand.’ Nor can the leadership be maximized.”

 

*Adapted from chapter fourteen of John G. Miller’s book, Outstanding: 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional

 

Leaders by definition serve as “change agents.” Leading change is more difficult when the followers are larger in number, when the followers have been longer entrenched in a culture, or when the leader lacks the skills to inspire and move people toward the desired change. As a leader, you only have control of one of those factors; your skills. Books have been written on the subject but I am going to be audacious enough to suggest four keys you can apply immediately that will help bring about change.

1. Earnestly pray before the process instead of after growing frustrated. Ideas always sound good in theory. However, leaders many times assume an idea is good without seeking God’s wisdom prior to “pulling the trigger.”
2. Sincerely show love to the people you lead. It may sound obvious but I have seen many a leader fail on this one. If you really love on people and they grow to love you, the result is that they trust you to make decisions and are less resistant. The love of a leader will often trump sentimentality for a tradition or idea. This idea takes time to work but you must begin to implement it right now.
3. Make key followers think the change is their idea. When you present a problem to key influencers in your group and ask them to brainstorm solutions, they often will come to the same conclusions as you but are much more enthusiastic about the change when they believe it is their idea.
4. Develop an incremental plan to bring about the change. Sometimes it is possible to divide a solution into ten or more distinct steps that can be applied over many months instead of making a complete change in a weekend and the followers not only don’t resist but sometimes don’t know the change has taken place until it has become the norm.

When Tom Crites and I conducted the research for the book “Why They Stay,” we found several surprises. The book addresses the issues that keep children and teens connected to church into their adult lives. On its face, one of the surprises sounded like bad news and actually hurt my feelings personally as a new grandparent. We were surprised to discover no correlation between the faith of grandparents and whether young adults were still actively involved in church as adults. That is not to suggest that grandparents cannot have an influence. The key message of this finding is for parents and the message is this; You cannot delegate the spiritual development of your children to anyone else. Though you may take pride in the fact that your dad was a deacon or your mom sang in the choir, it is you and your spouse that your children are most likely to model their faith after.

 

What is a grandparent supposed to do with this information? Quite frankly,  I would ignore it and that comes from the person who wrote it. Here is why. My grandparents had a direct effect on my spiritual journey. The research is a 10,000 foot view of trends and probabilities. The whole premise of the book is that parents and church leaders have influence and the research directs them to the points of impact. What steps can a grandparent take to increase the probability that their grands will be in church as adults?

 

First, revitalize your relationship to your adult children. If you are estranged from your adult children for any reason, your ability to influence your grandchildren is lessened greatly. You will have less time with them (if any), less access to them, and less influence on them if your children are undermining your credibility based on a damaged relationship. I want to acknowledge that the problems may not even be your fault. Let’s assume for the moment you are totally on the right side of whatever the issues may be. Could it be that you need to make a sacrifice for your grandchildren? Take the high road and the humble road and set aside the fact that you are right, seek reconciliation even at a cost to your pride, and turn your attention to any possible influence you can have on your grandchildren. This is particularly important if one or both of their parents are not in church. They are in an uphill struggle for their spiritual development and you need to be a cheerleader for their faith. You cannot do that if you are estranged from the your grandchild’s parents.

 

Second, do what you must to get your grandchildren to Jesus. Ideally, their parents are taking them to church. If not, and it is in your power to do so, take them to Sunday School, worship, Vacation Bible School, send them to a Christian Youth Camp, and do all in your power to get them to Jesus and to a place where their faith is continually being fed as often as is within your power to do so and as early in their lives as possible.

 

Third, share the tools (of how to keep kids connected) with your  adult children. Whether you give them a copy of a book like “Why They Stay,” or share from the lessons you have learned from reading it yourself, or pointing them to a website like whytheystay.com, find a way. Obviously I highlighted the resources that are part of the project I am invested in right now, but please understand that the principle is what I want you to see and not a product. Discover good resources and feed them to the parents of your grandchildren.

 

Fourth, be a model of faith and a cheerleader for the faith of your grandchildren. You have probably heard it said before that  your life may be the only Bible that some people ever read. That may be true for your grandchildren if their parents are not living their faith. Be a Christ-like model of faith and demonstrate what it means to live for Jesus Christ. In addition, everyone needs encouragement. Be a cheerleader for the faith or your  grandchildren by affirming any and all steps of faith and spiritual growth. Celebrate their spiritual milestones and make much of them as they make much of Jesus.

Maximized Leadership: Making Multi-Generational and Cross-Cultural Connections

Is your organization struggling with a generation or culture gap?

Has the community changed over the past years bringing the challenges of a growing cultural diversity?

These two challenges have much in common. People naturally find themselves more effective as leaders among those in the same life stage and from the same cultural background. However, leaders who serve the Lord Jesus Christ do not have the luxury of limiting their influence to people their own age who speak their own language (literally or figuratively). The Great Commission commands believers to “make disciples of all nations.” Study up on the cultures that surround you but jump ahead by utilizing these three actions that transcend all generations and cultures.

1. Relationships: Everyone responds to personal interaction that is gracious, loving, caring, and expressive of appreciation. Are you connecting with others simply for love’s sake.
2. Passion: You will never lead anything up by talking it down. If you do not believe with all of your heart who Christ is and what He has called you to do, you cannot expect anyone of any generation or culture to respond to your leadership. Serve Him with passion.  Colossians 3:23
3. Deference without compromise: You need to change. Everyone that grows changes. You cannot be all that God has called you to be without changing. Rarely will you effectively cross cultural or generational barriers without changing or deferring on some level. The key is to do so without compromise of biblical convictions. The challenge is that some people have difficulty separating the convictions from their upbringing. It’s tough and requires godly wisdom. Learn to defer but never at the expense of God’s Word.

Here is a small post that can pay huge dividends in your leadership:

Papa John’s Founder, John Schnatter made this observation:

“I’ve always found that people who struggle are hard on others, but those who do well in life are hard on themselves.”

I believe in high expectations. I believe you should expect the best of yourself and of others. I believe those who serve around me should embrace high expectations of themselves and others. When I make a “goof,” I try to own it, correct it, and own up to it. When others make a “goof,” I try to help them correct it and show as much grace as I can. I believe we can get the “best from one another” without being “hard on one another.” I will not suggest that I have perfected the concept but I do acknowledge that when applied it exemplifies and honors Jesus Christ. In order to maximize your leadership, you must be forgiving.

Adapted from Chapter Thirteen of John G. Miller’s Outstanding: 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional

 

 

Maximized Leadership: Four Barriers You Must Overcome to Engage a Younger Generation

My first grandchild is due in the next month. In other words, it can happen at any time. I am obviously pregnant with anticipation. I have received some insight as I began entry into this next stage of my life which actually began bubbling up in the past few years. I can best illustrate it by sharing something that happened in me when I became a parent. Though I never knew it was there, God turned on a switch of protection in my heart when my first child was born. If I was driving down the road and a car would happen to pull out in front of me, my right foot would immediately depress the brake, my left hand would grip the steering wheel, and my right hand would move to protect my child. All of this occurred in under one second and was instinctive. To prove my point, if you were with me in the same circumstance, my right foot would depress the brake, my left hand would grip the steering wheel, and my right hand would grip the other side of the steering wheel. In other words, you are on your own.

Whether or not I am old probably depends on how old you are. I don’t consider myself to be old but it is a fact that I am getting older. Aren’t we all? As I have aged, I have noticed other switches that have been activated in my heart and if I am not careful, they can be an impediment to my effectiveness as a leader with a younger generation. They are as follows:

1. Sentimentality: I get more sentimental as I get older. A part of me yearns for things to be like they used to be. Something in me seeks to return to the past but I cannot live in the past and be effective in the future.
2. Status Quo: I like change as long as I agree with it. It seems I have a harder time agreeing with change as I grow older. However, I cannot stay as I am and circumstances cannot stay as they are if I am to be effective in the future.
3. Satisfaction: I like being comfortable. I am a big fan of air conditioning, comfortable chairs, cold soft drinks, and indoor plumbing. That is just the tip of the iceberg. However, I must stay focused on the reality that while comfort can be a great blessing, it is not the mission. The mission is to influence as many people as I can to follow Jesus and to grow in their faith.
4. Skepticism: While the years are a blessing, they also come with many let downs and disappointments. It is easy to be cynical when people latch on to fads that I have seen come and go before. If I am not careful, I will not give younger leaders a chance to lead and I must if I desire to help them to progress in their journey of discipleship.

I think the key here is to know yourself and to acknowledge these barriers. I am personally more concerned that the next generation is reached with the gospel and that they thrive in their mission than have my nostalgic notions go uninterrupted. Sentimentality, the status quo, satisfaction, and skepticism all have their place. They can serve you well. But be cautions that they serve you in a way that does not hinder God’s greater purposes. Which is the greatest challenge to your leadership?

MAXIMIZED LEADERSHIP: DEADLY SILENCE!

Any questions?     Are we all on the same page?      Any objection?      All agreed?      Do we have consensus?

Perhaps you have been in a meeting that concluded with that question or something very similar. There were no questions. Everyone subtlety nods their head. No objections are registered. That is…until you get on to the elevator or back to the office.

“Can you believe we’re going to do that?”

“That is a dumb idea.”

Really now? Then why didn’t you say so in the meeting? You are not only hurting the organization but undermining the leader and your own leadership as well. Always bear in mind that the “general public” sees each person as the organization. If the idea flops or lacks credibility, it reflects on everyone, including you. Speaking up three weeks later or after the fact does not count. Speak up when the issue is placed on the table!

It does take courage to speak up. That is especially true if you have an opposing view or a different perspective. But you must remember that silence is interpreted as consent. You vote “yes” when you don’t speak up. You bear responsibility for the idea if you were part of the conversation. The scripture does speak to this issue in Ephesians 4:15 when Paul exhorts believers to “speak the truth in love.” That is great wisdom when taken in the context of all five words. It is not a loving act to be silent so as not to hurt feelings if the end result is a potentially greater harm that could have been prevented by speaking up in the first place. On the other hand it is not fruitful to speak the truth if it is not done in a spirit of “love.” You can critique someone without criticizing them. The key is to speak the truth in love. The motive of “criticism” is often to tear someone down. The motive of a “critique” is to build someone up by looking after their best interest (even if it is painful to say or hear).

Let me leave you with one more thought. The way you say something is as important when “critiquing” as what you say. What would set best with you if you were leading and someone wanted to disagree?

“I disagree with you.”   OR  “Can I share another way to look at this issue.”

“Everybody is going to hate this.”   OR  “Could we possibly do some research before pulling the trigger to determine the implications.”

[SILENCE]    OR  “I hesitate to take an opposing view but I want to make sure we examine all angles so that your plan will work.”

Speak Up! And when you do….speak the truth IN LOVE!

Dixie Chicks? Does that sound familiar? It does if you are a fan of country music. Just over a decade ago they were the darlings of the country music industry. The group consisted of three attractive, talented, country stars who produced hit after hit. They were riding high until their lead singer decided to make a political comment. Certainly she had the right and no one would deny her freedom of speech. She criticized the sitting president at the time, George W. Bush. Here is the problem…  Her audience was made up of country music fans who lean heavily conservative, patriotic, and republican. The career of the entire group went into a nosedive. They tried coming back with one more album but the damage had been done.

Whether you serve in a ministry or operate a business it is important to know who your customers and your potential customers are. Who is it that you are trying to serve? Who is it that you are trying to reach? You cannot serve an audience that you alienate. Perhaps you are like me. I have strong moral convictions, deep Biblical convictions, and clear political convictions. I believe that I am right on all points. But guess what? Not everyone agrees. You may have noticed that people can get real worked up over issues related to any of these areas. How do you express those convictions without un-necessarily alienating people? As a person who is called by God into the ministry I believe that I have a message to share. I want as many people as possible to be open to it and to hear it. As I have wrestled with how to balance being a person of conviction with the desire to keeping my message open to as many people as possible (by not alienating over half of them) I have applied the following:

1. I try to distinguish my political opinions from Biblical and moral convictions. The lines seem to be blurry to a lot of people. Though I have a strong opinion, I am not called to represent a political party but to represent the Lord. Therefore, I will discuss politics with anyone but do not take public stands on political issues, unless the issue is clearly rooted in a Biblical or moral concern. By the way… I follow politics closely and have strong opinions about which way we should go.
2. I generally try to utilize social media to be social rather than to make a point about anything, particularly political opinions.
3. When taking Biblical and moral stands, I always seek to do so with compassion. The aim of my stand is not to hurt anyone but ultimately to bring healing. The Bible calls this “speaking the truth in love.” Speaking the truth without love leads to alienation. Loving without speaking the truth leads injury.
4. Though I do not want to alienate anyone, I will stand for the Word of God on all points without apology.

Now the Dixie Chicks could still be rocking the country world today. But they chose to take a political stand by criticizing the character of a president supported by a majority of their audience. They would not have compromised their convictions by singing another song instead of making political commentary at a country music concert. The people were there for their music, not their political opinion. Take a stand, but take it at the right place, at the right time, over the right things. And when you do speak out….speak the truth in love.

Maximized Leadership: Are You Setting The Tone?

Be the person that you desire for your children to become.

Great advice for parents, don’t you think? You must model for your children the behaviors, attitudes, and values that you hold dear. What would you think of the parent that opted to write them on a list and post them on the refrigerator while behaving in a contrary manner? You can apply the same principle in a church. I have often been amused to see the lengthy church covenant posted on the church wall affirming the priority of taking the gospel to the lost just before preaching to an unenthusiastic congregation, that gives little to missions, and has no un-churched people present to hear the gospel. I assume that they can read but apparently the document has not made an impression. Likewise, I go to a different church the following week and see no church covenant posted. However, a passionate pastor has invited me to share with his congregation. The church is friendly, lively, worshipful, and loves good preaching (even mine). How could this be if the standards are not posted on the wall? Hang around the leaders for a while and you will discover why. They live with a committed and passionate attitude among their congregation week in and week out. It’s true that some things are better “caught than taught.”

Every family has a culture. Every church and every organization has a culture. Attitudes, values, and priorities vary and are as diverse as personalities possessed by individuals. Every church and every organization has a culture also. It is a corporate (or combined) mindset that guides attitudes and thinking. It is critical that a cultural tone is set that benefits the organization, the individuals in the organization, the customers of the organization, but most importantly that pleases the master of the organization. Yes, the master, the Lord Jesus Christ. Here is the question. Who bears responsibility for setting the cultural tone? I’ll say it begins with me because I am writing this post. However, for you to correctly answer the question, you must reply with; “It begins with  me.”  You may think that your role is not that influential and that you do not bear responsibility. However, you are the only person that you truly have control of. Don’t wait on someone else. Be the person that you desire for everyone in your organization to become. If everyone is determined to set the tone, the tone will indeed be appealing to members and the community alike.