Intentional

I was honored to share with you a video in January designed to help parents understand the key Driver of a Sticky Faith. I followed up in February with a second video that described The Power of First Steps. These videos are based on the research conducted by Tom Crites and I to discover what keeps kids connected to church into their adult lives and published in our book, Why They Stay.

March is now here and I want to invite you to view the third video in the series. In this thirty-minute video, I am speaking to parents about key issues related to how their style of discipline affects the faith development of their children. You will discover the Biblical roots as well as the research that supports the model that made the greatest difference. The session is entitled Balancing Bonding and Boundaries. Trust me when I tell you that you will be encouraged as a parent, better equipped to help your children as well as other parents and learn principles that can maximize your leadership. Here we go…

 

Everyone reads, but not everyone reads books. I have seen conflicting statistics about the number of people who read books and the number of books that are read. But this I believe from Mark Twain;

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

I listen regularly to Dave Ramsey and one thing he enjoys doing is interviewing millionaires to determine how they acquired their wealth. He notes that very few millionaires inherit their wealth. One common trait about self-made millionaires is that they are avid readers of non-fiction books. My comment here is not about money, but about the stewardship and leadership that propels one forward in their life. I read books and I want to share over the course of the next few weeks twelve books that have made me a better leader and give balance to my life and leadership.

I read from the Bible every day and credit that discipline with the most profound influence on my life. But that is not to suggest that other books have not shaped my leadership. Some of the works are specifically about leadership, others about marriage and parenting, and a couple may surprise you in their subject matter. [Full disclosure] I have admittedly included one of my own books because the research and writing had an extreme impact on my life and I am confident that it belongs on the list. A few notes about my list:

• These are not necessarily literary classics.
• These are not necessarily high level academic works.
• These are not all Christian works (for my ministry friends).
• These are not listed in priority order. They are broadly listed alphabetically.
• The list is not exhaustive. I could list 25, 50, or 100. I chose 12 for this exercise.
• I believer every leader and aspiring leader would do well to read all of these.

With that background, allow me to introduce you to the first three that I recommend.

1. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud. The subtitle clearly explains what the book is about and you will never excel in leadership without this essential skill. Leaders learn to prioritize and know when and how to say “no.” Do you?
2. Developing the Leader Within You by John Maxwell. This book is Leadership 101. It is a great synopsis of what Maxwell believes leadership is and how you can be a leader, which he defines as a person of influence. I discovered that I am a “learned leader” when I read this classic about 25 years ago. It propelled me forward as a leader and should be in any aspiring leader’s library.
3. Developing the Leaders Around You by John Maxwell. I guess you could call this Leadership 201. The title is descriptive as his second volume instructs and inspires you to become a leader of leaders instead of simply being a leader of followers. I personally believe that the primary task of a leader is to develop additional leaders. If so, whatever your task, mission, job, or assignment, you will progress more rapidly and be more effective. This book will help you do just that.

That’s three books that will maximize your leadership. I have nine more to go. Don’t miss next week.

What is the number one determining factor that indicates whether a child who grows up in church will be there as an adult? For this week’s leadership post I want to invite you to watch this 27 minute video as I share with parents about The Driver of a Sticky Faith.

 

There are actually eight of these videos but I am going to spread them out at a rate of about one per month. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, or an adult who loves teens and kids, this presentation will be of great value to you. Whoever you are and whatever you do, I can assure you that viewing this video is another way to maximize your leadership! I hope you will share with others.

 

The Driver of a Sticky Faith

Outstanding organizations are known for being fast. That does not mean they are “sloppy” with their work or that they are not deliberate in decision making. But people are drawn to them because they get good service and get it in a timely manner. When I am in a restaurant, I love my meal to be freshly prepared. But, I don’t want to wait three hours in order for that to happen. Being fast is not easily definable but you know when an organization is slow or unresponsive. We are admittedly the victims of a culture that is technologically advanced and has an expectation of quick quality service. Microwave ovens, cell phones, Google, and express lanes are just a few examples of modern technological factors. Cultural advances have raised expectations and that expectation is growing rather than diminishing. That begs the question: What does it mean to “be fast” in your area of service or ministry?

1. It means those who contact you by any means can expect a prompt and timely response. You may not be able to bring their questions, concern, or need to a quick resolution, but you can get started on the resolution quickly. In the worst case scenario, you should respond the next business day. You should strive to make an initial response on the same day you receive contact. The ideal is to get back with them very quickly. “But my workload is so great!” you might say. That does not change the expectation of those making contact. Those who contact you for ministry and service are “your work.” You must work with your team to find a way. Remember that a quick acknowledgement of their need and a commitment to follow through will suffice if you are in a crunch. But you must follow up soon.

2. It means that you meet deadlines and that you communicate on those occasions when it is not possible to meet the deadline. I work from a task list and I rarely schedule something to be done the day of or the day before it is due. If something is due on Friday, I put it on my task list for Wednesday (or even earlier if it is a larger project). I am typing this post on Thursday to go out on the following Monday. That builds in a buffer for me in the event of unforeseen demands on my schedule. Meeting deadlines is directly related to your time management skills and that is an area you must always seek to develop given the demanding culture in which we serve.

3. It means that you seek to provide an environment where quick decisions can be made. That is a tall task in a larger organization. Develop relationships and systems that allow for quick decisions to be made so that your team and your constituents can get a timely response to their ministry needs.

That went by fast! Until next time….

 

Mo-men-tum: The strength or force something has when it is moving. Momentum in organizational leadership or ministry is a good thing. You can make progress toward your mission with continued forward movement, even when smaller problems arise, or when a leader needs to briefly slow down, or when a change takes place within the organization. Despite the interruption, the organization continues forward. Ideally a leader will make decisions that propel his or her teams or followers forward and no one will notice the natural interruptions that inevitably take place.

 

There is another side to the equation. Some leaders stall or reverse momentum. The result can be a lack of growth and ultimately decline if the momentum cannot be regained. All leaders are vulnerable to circumstances beyond their control which can decrease momentum. Effective leaders prepare for those eventualities developing systems, policies, and best practices to minimize the effect of those external speed bumps. Unfortunately, some leaders personally cause the erosion of the momentum. Here are some ways that weak leaders, kill momentum:

 

1. When the leader loses or lacks passion. The leader sets the tone and his or her followers will rarely have more enthusiasm for the mission and work than the leader. If you are not “pumped” about what your organization is doing, then why should anyone else be?

 

2. When the leader disconnects from the team members. Contrary to the opinion of some, you cannot lead from behind. That is not a political commentary or intended as an insult to the one who proposed it. You must be visible, out front, and continually rallying followers toward the objective.

 

3. When the leader’s recollections of past victories are spoken about more than dreams of future possibilities. Every leader should remember the past, respect the past, learn from the past, but lead into the future. Yesterday’s victories will not guarantee tomorrows successes. In addition, younger leaders and followers want to hear a vision for the future with more frequency than reveling about the “good ole days.”

 

4. When new leaders are not being developed. The primary function of an effective leader is to develop new leaders. You cannot have too many. Only one can be the “lead dog” but an effective leader is primarily a “leader of leaders” rather than a “leader of followers.”

 

5. When a leader relies on momentum. A leader should desire momentum. He or she should work to generate it. But, the effective leader works and prays as if the momentum will disappear within the week if they are not diligent. Therefore, while it may be necessary to slow down at sometimes, they never coast. They could because they have momentum. But, they don’t.

 

That is why they are so effective in their leadership. What about you? Are your actions generating momentum or killing it? Learn these important lessons and you will maximize your leadership.

No one ever sets out to be an ineffective leader. However, whether at work, on a team, in a business, or at church, you do not have to be a genius to observe that not all leaders are equal in their abilities. What distinguishes the effective from the ineffective? Is it their personality? Their educational background? Their level of charisma? Their intelligence? Certainly, all of those criteria can be an asset, but they do not automatically make one effective.

A study by Telemetric International of over 16,000 executive leaders revealed some interesting contrasts between those who were more and less effective in their leadership. They were as follows:

1. Those who were most effective, tended to be more concerned with people (personally) than with profits (results). The result was a group of team members (followers, employees, staff) who worked extraordinarily hard resulting in the success and progress of the organization. By contrast, the weaker leaders in the survey tended to be more preoccupied with their own personal security than the needs of others.
2. Those who were most effective viewed the team members (followers, employees, staff) optimistically. They tended to think the best and expect the best of people. The ineffective leaders tended to distrust their team and their abilities and commitment.
3. Those who were most effective sought to interact with their team members (followers, employees, staff) seeking advice and input on issues like vision, strategy, problems, and solutions. Those who were ineffective tended to only seek input from others on the executive level.
4. Those who were most effective were active listeners. They tended to be personable and sought out personal input and interaction with others. Those who were ineffective avoided personal communication, leading from the office, and relying almost exclusively on written policies and procedures.

While education is of great value, you do not need an M.B.A. or a PH.D. to be effective. What you do need is an attitude that is more “others-centered” than “self-centered.” When you do, you will be on your way to maximizing your leadership!

 

I had some friends back in High School that I imagine you can relate to. You had friends and classmates just like these. Some were superior athletes that never played beyond High School and some were not even on the field for their senior seasons. I had other friends who had “off the chart” intellect. They trumped my intelligence by dozens of points, but made bad grades and never went to college. In most cases, these friends went on to live lives that were far below their potential and quite frankly have made a mess of their lives as adults. It’s sad. They had high I.Q.s (Intelligence Quotients) and natural physical attributes, but were sabotaged by low A.Q.s.

I have observed that a high Attitude Quotient is superior to high I.Q.s, degrees, good looks, or family heritage. You can observe this in a classroom in a local school. Children and teens with lower I.Q.s possessing good attitudes out performing academically other students with higher I.Q.s combined with bad attitudes. This is the great dynamic of maximizing leadership. Your I.Q., while it can be slightly raised, is primarily inherent while an attitude is a daily choice that can be dramatically improved by anyone who is willing. I have found the same principle to be true in ministry. For example, in the enlistment of Bible study leaders for my church, and while theology is very important, I would always prefer a leader with little theological training, but possesses passion and a great attitude over another who is intellectually knowledgeable of theology but lacks passion and has a poor attitude.

I have expectations for those who serve alongside me. Give me someone with a great attitude and their skills will improve. Give me someone with a great attitude and they will overcome mistakes and shortcomings. Give me someone with a great attitude and they will help create a much better environment to work in. Give me someone with a great attitude and we will move forward. Give me someone with a bad attitude and I will quickly give them back! While tolerance may be a virtue I admittedly have no tolerance for bad attitudes. This should be a “no-brainer” in the Christian community since believers should seek the “attitude of Christ.” As I said, “it should be.” Always be attentive to your A.Q. as well as that of your team members and you will maximize your leadership!

Thanks so much for reading my “Maximized Leadership” blog. This is my last post for 2017 and I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you will often visit www.steveparr.net to see previous posts as well as to see resources and messages that I have developed. Would you take a moment to read about my three ministry priorities for 2018, pray for my ministry, and consider if I may be of any service to you, your church, or your organization.

Priority One- A: I will be doing all I can to support and develop the staff of the Georgia Baptist Mission Board. I serve as the V.P. of Staff Coordination & Development and have the high privilege of serving alongside a talented and committed team of leaders. My desire is that they would be more effective because of the actions I take to encourage and develop their leadership.

Priority One- B: I will be leading the Georgia Baptist Mission Board and Georgia Churches in an initiative called #reachingnextgen. If it is not obvious, the focus is on helping churches to be more effective in reaching the next generation. Please visit www.reachingnextgen.net to learn more.

Priority Two: I will continue to spend time equipping leaders particularly in churches. The methods are a blend of speaking at events, preaching, blogging, and personal consultations. Please contact me at sparr@gabaptist.org if your church, business, or organization needs to be challenged, encouraged, trained, or developed to be more effective at whatever God has called you to do. Most of my events revolve around my book, Why They Stay, as well as reaching the next generation, but I am often called upon as an inspirational speaker for multi-church and local church events on a variety of subjects as well as preaching invitations.

Priority Three: This one is new and I want you to know about it. Are you ever looking for a “Banquet Speaker?” I recently piloted an event that was geared toward the lighter side of communication. I was a keynote banquet speaker and shared about thirty minutes of humor (comedy) concluding with a brief challenging message. It went great and this is something I want to continue to develop. Alan Hall was the coordinator of that event and his email is mulberryassociation@gmail.com. Contact him and ask how it went. I am willing to do six of these next year at no cost (cover my expenses only). These are first come, first serve and are based on my calendar being open. Keep me in mind now and in the future if you know of Banquet-type events geared toward a fun evening with an inspiring message.

Thanks for following and reading. Until next year…

A leader possesses a natural desire to thrive. An effective leader wants to thrive while helping those around him or her to thrive also. The best leaders do not focus exclusively on their own success. To do so would be narcissistic, which is counter intuitive to effective leadership. In a multi-layered organization where multiple staff members serve, multiple departments or ministries conduct work, and workers perform a variety of different functions, the tendency is to focus on the task of the department without regard to the needs of the other teams. This tendency is known as “silo-ing.” It is not always intentional, but it is always detrimental to the mission of the organization.

 

A leader or team member in a department or ministry should stand up for their team. It is healthy to have a passion for the task assigned, to have the expertise, to defend the team members, and to carry the banner for his or her area of assignment. However, each team member should recognize that they play a role on a larger team. Failure to do so can lead to unhealthy competition within the organization and lack of cooperation in accomplishing the ultimate mission. Here are three ways that leaders and team members contribute to the silo effect and note that all are avoidable and correctable:

 

1. Operating as if me or my team is exempt from standards, procedures, rules, policies, or expectations communicated by organizational leaders.

2. Planning activities, events, meetings, and/or developing strategies without regard to what any other team in the organization is doing.

3. Operating as if what my team does is superior to what other teams are assigned to do.

This can happen in a business. It can happen in a religious organization. It can happen in a church. As a matter of fact, Paul tackled this very issue in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27. Seek to thrive in your assignment, but do so in a way that helps others to thrive also. Doing your part to minimize the silo effect is one key to making it happen.

A Carnegie Foundation study once showed that only 15 percent of success could be attributed to job knowledge and technical skills. Eighty-five percent of a person’s success is determined by what researchers called ability to deal with people and attitude. The concept holds whether you serve in business, ministry, education, or public service. It is true of male and female, old and young, educated and uneducated. You also need to be aware of its relevance whether you are extroverted or introverted. While you can afford to be timid as a child, you cannot use introversion as an excuse when you enter your adult life. You must understand yourself and to some degree learn to live beyond it.

Your ability to develop relationships, build relationships, and to get along with others can make or break you no matter what the endeavor. Here are some keys to building better relationships:

1. Be trustworthy. You cannot grow close to someone you cannot trust and it is difficult to trust those you are not close to.

2. Show genuine interest in the feelings, concerns, and dreams of others.

3. Take responsibility for improving the relationship. Be more concerned about owning your part than stressing over their part.

4. Understand that others bring not only “good” to the relationship, but also baggage from other relationships and experiences. They will have flaws just as you do.

5. Seek to inspire others to better living by modeling the qualities of genuine friendship.

6. Understand that you can “make their day” or “ruin their day” with your words and actions.

7. Be willing to speak the truth, hear the truth, discuss hard things, and to disagree without bailing out. This may sound like a contradiction with number six and if all you apply is number seven every day, the relationship will not last.

8. Always be looking to add a new friend to your network.

9. Be friendly. It is free and it is powerful. Don’t be “over the top” about it. That is costly and makes people want to avoid you.

10. Learn what is most important to them and share what is most important to you.

I will add one more note as a follower of Jesus. Anyone can apply these principles to build better relationships. My motivation runs deeper still. I desire to be “salt” and “light” sharing what I believe to be the most important message of all. Forgiveness. Redemption. Salvation. Hope. I’m still seeking to build better relationships. I hope you are too, because that will maximize your leadership!

Portions adapted from chapter nine of Monday Morning Choices by David Cottrell.