Leading

A Carnegie Foundation study once showed that only 15 percent of success could be attributed to job knowledge and technical skills. Eighty-five percent of a person’s success is determined by what researchers called ability to deal with people and attitude. The concept holds whether you serve in business, ministry, education, or public service. It is true of male and female, old and young, educated and uneducated. You also need to be aware of its relevance whether you are extroverted or introverted. While you can afford to be timid as a child, you cannot use introversion as an excuse when you enter your adult life. You must understand yourself and to some degree learn to live beyond it.

Your ability to develop relationships, build relationships, and to get along with others can make or break you no matter what the endeavor. Here are some keys to building better relationships:

1. Be trustworthy. You cannot grow close to someone you cannot trust and it is difficult to trust those you are not close to.

2. Show genuine interest in the feelings, concerns, and dreams of others.

3. Take responsibility for improving the relationship. Be more concerned about owning your part than stressing over their part.

4. Understand that others bring not only “good” to the relationship, but also baggage from other relationships and experiences. They will have flaws just as you do.

5. Seek to inspire others to better living by modeling the qualities of genuine friendship.

6. Understand that you can “make their day” or “ruin their day” with your words and actions.

7. Be willing to speak the truth, hear the truth, discuss hard things, and to disagree without bailing out. This may sound like a contradiction with number six and if all you apply is number seven every day, the relationship will not last.

8. Always be looking to add a new friend to your network.

9. Be friendly. It is free and it is powerful. Don’t be “over the top” about it. That is costly and makes people want to avoid you.

10. Learn what is most important to them and share what is most important to you.

I will add one more note as a follower of Jesus. Anyone can apply these principles to build better relationships. My motivation runs deeper still. I desire to be “salt” and “light” sharing what I believe to be the most important message of all. Forgiveness. Redemption. Salvation. Hope. I’m still seeking to build better relationships. I hope you are too, because that will maximize your leadership!

Portions adapted from chapter nine of Monday Morning Choices by David Cottrell.

Leaders, more often than not, have responsibility for a team. That team may consist of a small group, a department, or an entire organization. The leader’s task is to develop, train, build, inspire, and lead the team to achieve the objectives and move toward fulfillment of the vision of the organization. That requires oversight, management, and keeping the team members or employees accountable. Those who stand out can be rewarded or given advancement. Those who fall short can be coached up or in the most extreme circumstances released from the team. The knowledge that accountability is expected can serve as a motivational device in and of itself.

Reverse accountability can likewise serve to inspire team members. What is reverse accountability? One thing that I have always done with teams that I lead is to communicate that they can ask me, at any time, the status of anything I have ever said, stated, communicated, or promised. When leading teams in regular staff meetings I have often added to the agenda a “what about” section. This part of the staff meeting allows team members to hold me accountable for anything I ever said we would or should do as a team, or that I would do as the team leader. They can ask me as an agenda item in a staff meeting or during the normal course of our work. I owe an explanation if something did not get done. It could be that a change took place which affected the ability to see it through, that it is in process and I need to give the team an update on the status, that I could not deliver as expected and did not clearly communicate the reason, or that progress has been delayed. Fewer things are more frustrating to a team member than a leader who often says things and fails to follow through. The lack of action erodes trust, causes frustration, and hinders progress.

Reverse accountability gives the leader increased credibility because thru-put occurs and when action is delayed or plans are changed, the team has full awareness of the underlying reasons. Are you accountable to those you lead? Have you communicated and encouraged the method(s) of accountability? Can your team members speak honestly to you without fear of retribution when they give sincere and honest feedback? If you can pull that off, and you should certainly be trying, you are destined to maximize your leadership.

My good friend and mentor, Dr. Thom Rainer, recently wrote an excellent article entitled Before You Fire Your Pastor. You can find that article here: http://thomrainer.com/2017/08/before-you-fire-your-pastor/
You are likely aware of the research that Dr. Tom Crites and I conducted on what keeps your kids connected to a church into their adult lives. We discovered some issues that overlap with Dr. Rainer’s wisdom that you can find in the book Why They Stay.

It may be that your church is in an avoidable circumstance and that the firing of the pastor is necessary and imminent. You would do well not only to consider if the termination is critically necessary, but also the way you go about it when you take the additional pains to measure the effect on the teens and children in your church. Here are some lessons we learned from our research that should inform your church’s decision and the process:

1. Those who grow up in church and stay as adults are almost twice as likely to be there if they “loved their pastor when they were growing up.” Two issues come to mind as we integrate these subjects. First, if children sincerely love their pastor and he is released without good cause, in their mind, how will it impact their view of the church in the future? Second, if the pastor did make an egregious error that deserves termination and it undermines the respect that the children in the church have for the pastor, how does that affect their view of pastor’s in the future? Bear in mind that a child’s experience with “a pastor” greatly influences their view of “pastors” as they move forward.

2. The more pastors a child has growing up, the more likely they are to be out of church as an adult. The reference here is to senior pastors and not staff members. Our research found no correlation between having one or two (senior) pastors while growing up and the likelihood that that stayed or strayed from church. However, the research indicated that the more pastors one had while growing up (three or more) the more likely they were to be out of church as adults. That indicates a good reason to treat pastors well, coach them up when mistakes are made if they are not issues related to severe moral failure, to stay planted in one church as you raise your children if possible, and to vet pastors well on the front end of the process.

3. The number one self-described reason for dropping out by those who grew up in church was “I had a bad church experience.” I believe we can agree that even when a pastor deserves to be terminated that it causes pain, disillusionment, and likely some turmoil. When you add the uncertainties of adolescence or the lack of perspective of childhood to the equation, the spiritual damage can cut deeply and stifle the spiritual advancement of kids who grow up in church.

For the sake of the kids who grow up in your church:

1. Love your pastor and treat him well.

2. Deal with problems, difficulties, and disagreements head on but as privately as possible.
3. Be cautious of the way you refer to your pastor or pastors in general in front of your children. When you undermine them verbally you may be inadvertently undermining the faith of your children. Please note that I am not suggesting that pastors are above criticism or that issues should not be confronted. However, adult conversations and actions belong in the adult realm. Be cautious with the kids.

4. When and if the termination is unavoidable, think about process, healing, grace, and context as well as the actual immediate action.

Help your children learn to love pastors, to love their pastor, and they are much more likely to be serving Christ into their adult lives. I hope you will check out Why They Stay to learn a whole lot more about what keeps kids connected to a church. If you do, it will help you to maximize your leadership!

I am currently leading an effort among Georgia churches to turn everyone’s attention to focus on reaching the next generation. Why is this so important? Did you know that fewer teens are coming to faith than in previous generations? Did you know that the average number of teens baptized in a Georgia church was only one last year? Did you know that the evangelical church just crossed a threshold where more High School grads are walking away from church than staying engaged? I am not a pessimist but I am a realist. What does this mean for the future of the North American Church?

Christianity is growing worldwide and is still the largest religion in the world. However, North America is one of the places where it has actually begun eroding in the past decade. What is it like in your church? I want to take you on a journey over the next six weeks to consider how a church might be more effective at reaching teens and children. It is an initiative of the Georgia Baptist Mission Board called #reachingnextgen. Take 90 seconds to view this video as I introduce the strategy and you can get more information at www.reachingnextgen.com. Here is the first in a six week series to help you maximize your leadership.

 

Where do you begin? What would you say the average age of those who attended your worship service Sunday would have been? You would do well to have all present, members included, fill out a guest registration card with one simple piece of information on Sunday. Ask them to simply write their actual age. No names needed for this exercise. Don’t forget to survey those in the children’s and preschool areas if they are not in the service. How do the age demographics of your church compare to the age demographics of your community?

I have been in churches where the average age was well over fifty. Does your church have a growing number of teens? Children? Young Adults? If not, then you are not engaged in reaching the next generation. Psalm 71:18 provides every generation with this challenge;

Now also when I am old and gray headed,

O God, do not forsake me,

Until I declare Your strength to this generation,

Your power to everyone who is to come.

While this week’s video is just over two minutes long, it serves as the critical starting point, no matter when a church begins to consider engagement. Two immediate challenges are included and while the first point is simple, it is crucial. You can view all of the videos at www.reachingnextgen.com. Here is the second in a six week series to help you maximize your leadership.

How can you get an entire congregation focused on reaching the next generation? Our journey continues as I submit to you video number four (4) of six (6) which addresses the third phase of a church strategy and gets the entire congregation involved. It has been piloted in several churches and here are samples of what pastors had to say.

Since we started this on the second Sunday in June, we have not experienced a summer slump in our children’s and youth attendance for more than a week.  Le G.

Very visual! Great way to keep the needs and opportunities before the people!  Fred L.

Thank you for helping us to open up our eyes and our hearts with more focus on those under the age of 19 in our church.  Larry E.

Each Sunday was uniquely special, but this past Sunday with me simply giving an analysis of where we are currently and a challenge for where we need to be was incredible.  The altar filled with people coming forward to pray and to commit to an anything-necessary kind of strategy. Tim J.

Watch this four-and-a-half-minute video to learn a simple strategy called Seven Sunday’s of Focus. I challenge you to do this in your church. Be sure your congregation leaders watch this video. You can view all the videos at www.reachingnextgen.com. Thanks for reaching out to the next generation. Here you go…

What is strategy? It is the development and implementation of specific actions designed to achieve an objective. You will not achieve what you do not implement. You will not implement what you do not develop or plan. This is one of my favorite times of the year because of my love of football. Can you imagine how a team would do if they did not develop or implement a plan to move the ball down the field and score points? The chances of victory apart from strategy are between low and zero.

As we consider the objective of making disciples of kids and teens in an effort to reach the next generation, we must take time to think about strategy. Strategic development cannot be done apart from the leading of the Holy Spirit and prayer. Sadly, there are congregations who have no design or desire to reach the next generation. There are others who genuinely care but do not take the time to be purposeful in reaching teens and kids. Strategy is not unspiritual, but is purposeful and should be done prayerfully under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Admittedly, some churches do not need our help with strategy. But, most do. It is evident from the erosion taking place in churches among kids, teens, and young adults. The #reachingnextgen initiative, are plans that can be implemented by any size church, in any location, with any size budget. The key is leadership. Someone must step up and lead the way. Someone must help congregational leaders develop and implement a strategy. Take a moment to view video number five (5) of six (6) in this series as we introduce Strategic Plan Review. It is three minutes long and you will want to sample some of the videos that lay out the strategic action plans under the Kids, Teens, and Young Adult tabs.

I hope you will take the initiative to call forth leaders and to help them understand and implement strategic actions. You can view all the videos at www.reachingnextgen.com. Thanks for taking this journey as we challenge churches to reach the next generation. Here you go…

 

The official launch of u2019 will begin at the annual meeting of the Georgia Baptist Convention in November. u2019 is all about leaders of churches choosing to reach the next generation. You will begin to frequently see videos, hear challenges, receive instruction, and be encouraged with the focus on #reachingnextgen.

 

The official launch is in November. The vision was cast months ago. The time to begin is now. Watch this four minute video and familiarize yourself with www.reachingnextgen.com to get information, resources, and inspiration as your faith community joins the effort in #reachingnextgen.

 

“So if You are going to deal thus with me, please kill me at once….” (Num. 11:15 )

Do you know who made that statement? He was one of the most outstanding leaders who took on one of the most daunting tasks in all of history. Those are the words of Moses expressing how he felt just a few months after leading a nation of people out of bondage following generations of enslavement. While it is not a happy request it expresses how Moses actually felt after the continuous barrage of constant complaints by those he led. The same man who stood face to face with Pharoah, performed miracles by God’s mighty hand, and led a nation to freedom, was so fed up that death was beginning to look like a credible alternative. He was in essence stating; “I don’t know if I can take this anymore!”

Perhaps you have a thick skin and you are not bothered by the complaints of those who follow you. But it can wear a leader down if he or she does not have a good understanding of leadership dynamics, including both the blessings and the downside of being the person out front. Criticism can zap your energy and cause loss of focus. It can also make you stronger if you can receive it in the correct context.

You may not be “pre-wired” to ignore criticism. But you can learn to deal with it and hopefully be made better by it. Here are some things I once read from Reggie McNeal as he sought to help leaders learn how to face criticism. He said…

1. Expect an “entrance exam.” Early on, every leader receives an “invitation” to opt for something easier. Jesus faced it in the wilderness. Let your choice, like His, reaffirm God’s calling. Leadership is not easy and if it were, then everyone would step up. They don’t but you should.
2. Don’t expect “romance.” The quicker you drop unrealistic expectations, the better. Don’t look for a “pass” when it comes to being mistreated. It’s a normal part of your job as a leader.
3. Look past it. Runners do it; dieters do it. You can look past pain if you know it’s getting you closer to a worthy goal/vision.
4. Weigh (don’t count) your critics. A critic from the fringe means far less than a critic from the core.
5. Sift out the real issue. It’s not always about you, even when you’re on the receiving end of it. Good leaders (like good parents) know some reactions are just adolescent disappointment, lack of understanding, or immaturity.

 Good words of wisdom for those who desire to maximize their leadership.

 

 

July 10, 2017 – The Main Reason You May Feel Burned Out

Dear fellow leaders and workers;