Relationships

Well… at least they shouldn’t anyhow. I want to be clear that I am speaking from the perspective of leadership within the Christian realm although application could be made in business at large. If I were to beg anything of you, it would be that you embrace the gospel and trust Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. Apart from that, I have learned that effective leaders never beg.

First, never beg someone to join you. If you must beg then you are getting a half-hearted follower, member, or employee at best. I would rather have a couple of fully devoted, totally engaged, loyal, passionate members than a room full of half-hearted people that I have to beg to come alongside. In addition, they will always treat you as if you owe them something more and they will feel entitled to give you less since they sacrificed by giving in to your pleading.

Second, never beg anyone to stay.  I hate to lose good employees, faithful members, or friends (who feel called to other opportunities). When the person has talent or when you have grown close personally, it is especially difficult. I am thankful that it does not happen often and if it does you should spend intensive time in self-evaluation (of your church, ministry, or business). “I’m leaving.” Those words can hurt. Here is my typical response when those words are spoken;

“We’re going to miss you. “

“We sure hate to lose you.”

“I wish you all the best.”

If I beg them to stay and they do, I have painted one or both of us into a contradicting theological box. If I can convince them to stay then they are acknowledging that they were not hearing God clearly when they felt compelled to depart and I may be retaining someone who is not walking closely with the Lord. If I can convince them to stay, and they were hearing from the Lord, I am attempting to usurp His will and bend them to mine. People are certainly entitled to a change of heart and even if they do return after stating they are leaving, you need to spend serious time in debrief and deep consultation regarding good decision making skills and understanding the will of God.

Here is what leaders do instead of begging.

1. They share a compelling vision that people want to be a part of. People do not want to miss it. They want to be a part of a movement that is bigger than themselves. They would have to be dragged away.
2. They invest deeply in personal relationships with members, team mates, or employees. The love runs deep, the times together are filled with joy, obstacles are overcome, and departure would be too painful to bear.
3. They create an environment that is challenging and fulfilling. Every organization has a culture. That culture is created by the decisions, investments, relationships, and leadership style of those at the front. Effective leaders are in tune with the morale and culture of the organization.

Can God call someone away from an environment like that? He can and He does. And when it happens, while the parting is sorrowful, the influence of the existing organization is magnified. One more thing…People are waiting in line to fill the vacancy in that kind of environment.

I won’t beg you to follow my advice because leaders never beg. But I do hope this word of exhortation maximizes your leadership!

I wrote this article for my staff recently and I think you can easily glean an important trait that can maximize your leadership.

You should certainly have a clear understanding of who our internal and external customers are. We serve in cooperation with one another as “internal customers.” We clearly have external customers consisting primarily of Georgia Baptists but also have affiliates such as associational leaders and other denominational partners. We are blessed to have customers who are like-minded for the most part and are “Christian based.”

However, we have some other customers who may or may not be Baptist and may or may not even be Christians. They are just as important. Who you might ask? They would be our vendors, those who service us with product, resources, repairs, etc. Every week our organization has interaction with vendors providing a variety of products and services that equip us to effectively provide ministry to Georgia Baptists. Just as we treat our “external customers,” specifically Georgia Baptists, with respect and great service, we must likewise do so with our vendors. The way we interact and respond to them is important.

First, we must be reminded that those who are un-churched may be forming opinions about God and faith based on their interactions with us since we are the closest thing to church that they are experiencing. That is enough motivation in and of itself to compel us to take seriously the way we interact with our vendors. Secondly, vendors are our partners, not our adversaries. They deserve to be treated “as any of us would desire to be; as hardworking people doing their best each day.” John G. Miller points out that “treating vendors as valued is not just the right thing to do, but it is one other element that makes an organization outstanding.”

Adapted from Chapter 42 of John. G. Miller’s Outstanding; 47 Ways To Make Your Organization Exceptional

How many alarms did you hear last year? Car alarms, fire alarms, burglar alarms, weather alarms, and on and on it goes. I heard one last weekend as Tropical Storm Hermine bore down on my location in Charleston, S.C.  I heard several last year in various settings and locations. You walk through a parking lot and hear a car alarm and ignore it. Why? Not your problem and likely a false alarm anyway. Somebody turn that thing off! It’s irritating. A fire alarm recently went off at my home church during morning worship. “Is that real? Do I need to get up? Can somebody turn that thing off so we can continue with the service?” Fortunately, it was a false alarm. However, ignoring an alarm can be deadly.

It is easy to ignore alarms. John G. Miller points out that one of the great risks to any organization is “complacency.” When things are going well in an organization or a ministry it is easy to cruise along and enjoy the ride. And you should to some degree. However, the alarms that you hear are too easy to ignore when you are enjoying the ride. There is only one way to coast and that is downhill. What gets an organization to where they are (the pinnacle of success) may not get them to where they desire to be (sustained success). Do you hear the alarms sounding around you? Perhaps you have a great organization, great employees, great leadership, but the landscape is shifting right under your feet. What changes do you need to make? In your own leadership? In your ministry?

Here is Miller’s warning to organizations: “Complacency is a state of satisfaction combined with an unawareness of potential danger……..You must talk about continuous improvement and process enhancement. You must remain vigilant always knowing there is room for improvement. However you say it, the message is the same: Stay alarmed.”

Adapted from Chapter Forty-Three of John G. Miller’s Outstanding: 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Outstanding

“We dropped the ball.”

“The left hand does not know what the right hand is doing.”

“I didn’t know we were going to do that.”

“Whatever happened to….?”

“Whatever happened about…?”

“What are we supposed to do?”

We have all spoken or heard comments like these from time to time. Unfortunately, they do not reflect well on the work of a team. They each are synonymous with an admission that the team that you serve on is not communicating well. John G. Miller talks about four levels of communication for teams. They are:

Denial: This is the team where every-one is on their own. No designed staff meetings take place. No one knows where the other members are much of the time. Some team members are difficult to get into contact with. The team simply does not talk. Or at least they only talk the minimum amount required to stay afloat. Miller calls this place “dysfunction junction.”

Debate: This is a step up. The team is talking but they pull against one another instead of pulling together. Debate inherently calls for a winner or for someone to be proven right. The team at least meets together occasionally but when they do so, it is not well-planned or well led.  Those who think they are always right might not even recognize the weak level of communication taking place.

Discussion: This team likely has a planned and well led staff meeting several times a year. Challenges are acknowledged and team members are more willing to set aside personal agendas (being right) for the best interest of the team. The environment is healthy, team members are well informed, and the team is working well.

Dialogue: This team has planned times together and likely takes a retreat or two a year to really hunker down on issues. This team not only discusses any and every conceivable issue that affects their ministry and the organization, they are solution oriented. They listen to one another, seek to understand other points of view, respect one another, and are more concerned with getting the job accomplished than with who will get the credit. They enjoy one another in formal and informal settings. They are a team!

Where does your team fit on this scale. Do your part to move your team to the highest level of communication. The result will be an experience and an organization that is “outstanding!”

Adapted from Chapter Thirty-Two of John G. Miller’s Outstanding: 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional

If you ask someone “why they (did something),” you may or may not get a completely truthful answer. I do not say this to suggest that people are dishonest, although admittedly, sometimes some people are. The person may not be forthcoming because of a relationship with someone and choose to withhold a brutally honest response so as not to reflect negatively on someone they care about. The answer may be skewed by a person’s unique experience which is not ordinary or generally applicable to the circumstance. Then you have people like me. I don’t generally volunteer answers to surveys unless you ask me directly. Therefore, if I am not personally asked by someone, my opinion or experience is not likely to be given consideration. Effective church leaders learn to ask “why” to a particular question to a large number of people.

If you ask two or three people, you may or may not get to the real truth to the answers you are seeking. When you ask the same question of ten, twenty, or thirty people, the truth will begin to emerge. If I ask my mom to share what she perceives to be my greatest flaws, she will smile, tell me that I have none, and pinch my cheek. Yes, I am still her baby boy. If I ask that question of twenty people, the real truth will begin to bubble up.  Are you asking “why” and are you asking a lot of people.

The methodology can be formal or informal. Asking people why can be done over the course of time in personal conversation. Likewise, it can be done in fifteen minutes by giving an audience a survey. It can be accomplished through hosting one or more focus groups. Likewise, it can be done through on-line surveys or questionnaires. Why do people leave your church? I am not asking why people leave “churches,” but why they leave your church. You need to know the answer to that question. The truth, not your opinion, can be powerful in helping you lead changes that need to take place.

Why do people visit your church? Again, not why do people visit churches, but why your church? Why do some guests attend only once and never return? Why do people join your church? Why are your members not personally sharing the gospel? Why is there an atmosphere of apathy in your congregation? Hopefully there is not one. But if it is there, you need to ask why? Don’t guess. Use a method like described above that seeks truth and edification and not just an opportunity to complain. Are you asking “why?” What is the question you need to be asking “why” about at this point of your ministry? Don’t be afraid to ask. Be afraid of not really knowing. Knowing why is critical to maximizing your leadership!

We are reminded in Galatians 6:7 that we reap what we sow. It is biblical. It is true. No one is beyond getting discouraged as they live day to day and struggle to keep up with responsibilities at home, work, church, and in their community. You will notice that people tend to complain by nature and as you encounter people you can become emotionally drained. Sometimes you need to be encouraged. That “sometimes” is actually more often than not. How do you get the encouragement that you need in order to stay energized and motivated? You see the answer in Galatians 6:7. You reap encouragement when you sow encouragement because you reap what you sow.

John G. Miller states; “Having a culture in which people feel valued and appreciated is a big part of what makes an organization outstanding. Words of support among teammates go a long way toward making that culture a reality.”

There is a “therefore” to this brief leadership lesson. Therefore, go and encourage someone. Don’t stop there. Someone else needs to be encouraged too. You don’t have to get all “mushy” about it. But look for opportunities to say;

Thanks.

I really appreciate all you do

You do a great job.

You are a great example.

I don’t know what we would do without your leadership/support.

You are a great friend.

Encourage one another!

Adapted from Chapter 35 of John G. Miller’s Outstanding; 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional.

First steps are always very important. The way you begin a task can equally generate or drain forthcoming opportunities for momentum. Those who read my blog are likely aware that I have spent many years leading and equipping those who lead Bible study groups. In a local church setting I always set up a major launch in August to get the groups off on the right foot. What is your plan?

The task can be accomplished in a variety of ways. You could plan a major morning, afternoon, or evening of equipping for your leaders. You could bring in a specialist in leading groups to train and inspire your leaders. You could take your leaders to a training event offered by your denomination or a group that specializes in equipping Bible study leaders. You could plan a special morning service that focuses on the attributes of healthy Bible study groups. You could meet one on one with all of your leaders to provide mentoring as tedious as that might be. These ideas are not exhaustive, but to my point, what is your plan?

You have no plan? That is a recipe for ineffectiveness and momentum in your Bible study groups will be next to impossible to generate. Here is one way I can help. Let me help train your leaders. I have written three books that are designed to give your Bible study leaders the tools and skills they need to be effective. It is a trio of books called the “Sunday School That Really….” Series. The word “Sunday School” is used descriptively in this case. No matter what you call your Bible study groups, your leaders will be inspired. The books are:

Sunday School That Really Works which is a 101 introduction to what makes Bible study groups effective.

Sunday School That Really Responds is your 911 guide to tackling the most common leadership emergencies related to the leadership of Bible study groups.

Sunday School That Really Excels is your 411 tour of forty top Bible study ministries from across North America that illustrate how to be effective in almost any situation.

Sunday School That Really Works has been a perpetual best seller for Kregel Publications and on Amazon since it was published in 2010. You would do well to get these books into the hands of your Bible study leaders and directors. You can find them at your preferred on-line retailer, on Kindle, your local Christian bookstore, or if you would like to purchase directly, I am offering the books in a bundle for those who read my blog at the lowest price available since their release. You may purchase in sets of three (one of each, three of any edition, or in multiples of three) for $25 per bundle of three in softcover (The retail value is $45) plus shipping cost. Email me at sparrgbc@yahoo.com and I will get them on the way. It is close to time to launch your Bible study groups. What is your plan?

Are you capable of multi-tasking? I imagine that you are and with the advent of technology, multi-tasking is now the norm rather than the exception. Perhaps you have been on the phone with someone before and had the feeling that you did not have their undivided attention. You may hear keys clicking, papers shuffling, or other noises that imply they are working while listening to you. It can be very disconcerting if the subject is important. Here is what we must remember. Every person and every subject is important to the person who is speaking. You must be a good listener if you aspire to “maximize your leadership.”

John G. Miller breaks down the directions from which you must effectively listen into three critical components.

Listening to one another. Are you a “good listener?” I hope you have been in some venue where “active” listening has been discussed. If you were paying attentionJ you know that body language, eye contact, and repeating back key points are good habits of active listeners.

Listening to your customers. It really matters what people think even if they are not within the organization and may not have all of the facts. External customers have a perspective that must be respected and responded to. The customer may not always be right but they do have a perspective and any organization that ignores or minimizes their opinions do so at their own peril.

Listening to your people. Employees in an organization must be “heard” and must know that leaders are responsive. Responsiveness does not require that the inmates run the asylum (don’t get offended here, just being metaphorical). Leaders and those who follow see issues from different angles and must work together to determine realities that are not always clear when only viewed from one side.

Work to listen in every direction and continue to strive to maximize your leadership!

Adapted from Chapter Thirty-Six of John G. Miller’s Outstanding; 47 Ways To Make Your Organization Exceptional

“That was a bad idea!” Those are words that you never want to hear following implementation of any initiative for which you have responsibility. But, it does happen. Ideas are important. An idea is a thought or suggestion as to a possible course of action. Therefore ideas serve as the oil that keeps the motor of your ministry or business running and the power to move it forward. You are always in need of good ideas. But, you can take steps to turn your good ideas into better ideas and here is how.

1. Give every important idea some brothers and sisters. Whenever you have an idea, take time to brainstorm at least four or five other ways to accomplish the same aim. You can do this yourself but it is best done with peers and key leaders. You may discover that one of the other ideas trumps the original. But not only that, you will likely find at least a nugget or two from among the other ideas to attach to the original which will improve it making a good idea even 
2. Filter every idea through generational filters. People do think differently and generations are a great example. Intelligence is multiplied in a group and can be magnified by involving both young and old. I am not going to quantify young and old but the point is that what you think is a good idea may not be as appealing to people who are much younger or much older than you are. In working with pastors in ministry I emphasize the importance of younger pastors enlisting at least one or more leaders or staff who are much older. Likewise, I advise older pastors to enlist at least one or more leaders or staff who are much younger. Why? They think differently. Not right thinking and wrong thinking. Not good thinking and bad thinking. Just different. Filter your good ideas through people who are much older and/or much younger and they will make your idea better. 
3. Think through implications prior to application. Failure to do this is the reason most ideas flop. It is important to ask what could potentially go wrong, who might potentially be offended, what are the potential results, and what are the potential costs as well as returns. Look at potential implications on both the positive and negative possibilities.  Follow up by determining the likelihood of the  consequences that you come up with. If the likelihood of negative results is extremely high, slow down and spend more time in preparation. If your team determines the likelihood of good results is high, move forward. Even if the likelihood of negative consequences is low, this step can help you minimize landmines moving forward.
4. See if the idea breathes before sending it to work. An idea naturally generates positive emotions when it bubbles up into your consciousness and builds through your intellect. Always remember that a great idea will still be a great idea next week or next month. If you let the idea sit for a week or so and have no excitement for it once some time has passed, you need to ask if it was really that good of an idea after all. Some decisions have to be made quickly and you have to go on instinct and experience. But, if time allows give the idea a few days to see if it can breathe on its own.
5. Don’t worry about who gets the credit. One of the best generators of an idea is a former idea. Either of these may belong to you or someone else. I have seen my ideas take shape on some occasions and no one ever knew of my role in generating or sharpening them. Likewise, I have sometimes got credit for ideas that I implemented but were actually initiated by other team members. Let the idea be the star and don’t be too concerned about who gets the credit. Over time a person’s value becomes clear and as you learn to turn good ideas into better ideas, the organization benefits and so do you.

 Time to go now. I just got an ideaJ