Relationships

Off to College…Out of Church?

Maximized Leadership: Off to College…Out of Church?

In John Dickerson’s book The Great Evangelical Recession, you will find a sobering statistic about the students who grew up in your church and graduated in May. If they fit the typical profile of today’s college age young adults, two of the three will be leaving the church. I am writing this article in mid-summer because now is the time for your church to take action. As Tom Crites and I conducted research for our forthcoming book, Why They Stay which addresses how to help parents and church leaders make investments that keep children and teens connected to the church for a lifetime, we learned a valuable lesson that you should know about. The next 120 days are critical to the faith journey of those youth group members who just graduated.

Our research unveiled the importance of making the transition from “home church” to “a new church” in college for those who moved away from home. Almost 70% of High School graduates will enroll in college and what happens in the fall semester has a huge influence over whether they will still be attending church a decade later and beyond. Our research revealed that a student who moved off to college and immediately connected with a new congregation during the transition was 138% more likely to still be in church a decade later than one who moved and did not make the connection. I said that to say this. When students graduate from High School and are members of your congregation, the discipleship responsibility of the church has not concluded. I fear too many churches wash their hands at the conclusion of the High School career of their youth group members as if the “job is done.” It is not and the four to six months following graduation are critical. What is the strategy of your church to help those who graduated to connect with a new church in the place where they will be moving?

I don’t think the answer is complex but it does require some initiative. Here are a couple of quick thoughts:

  1. Someone has to take responsibility. Who in your church will take the lead in following up and ministering to the grads who move away in the next few months. It could be the pastor, a staff member, a Bible Study leader, or a volunteer. The key is that someone must take responsibility.
  2. Plan several forms of personal contact with the student who moves away in the summer and fall months. The object is not to “hound them” but to maintain a connection. They are more likely to get involved with another church if they are receiving ministry and encouragement from the home base.
  3. Send (or communicate) to those who move away recommended churches to visit. Many, if not most, have never had to look for a church before. Their parents have always taken care of that aspect of their lives. Orient them, prepare them, and take one step out by providing good recommendations in advance.
  4. Make occasional personal contacts and ask the question(s) straight out: What churches have you visited? Are you connected with a church yet? Even if the answer is “no,” you are keeping the subject on their spiritual radar and they are more likely to be in church next Sunday than if no one posed the question.
  5. Send “care packages” and remind them of the value and blessing of a faith community. They will have distractions but a taste of the past can serve a glue to keep them bonded.

Parents can apply these same principles. Look for the book, Why They Stay, coming in October. To learn more now, view a sermon I recently preached on this subject at Why Thy Stay Sermon or listen to this podcast which provides an in depth discussion and interview at Why They Stay Podcast.

Don’t Confuse Motion with Progress

Maximized Leadership: Don’t Confuse Motion with Progress

Have you ever had opportunity to get on a stationary bike for exercise? The actions taken by your legs replicate what you would do if riding a bicycle outdoors and the exertion is certainly a good way to improve your physical condition. However, the stationary bike cannot help you get anywhere. While the motion made by your legs is similar you will find yourself in the same place once your workout is complete. It is a good illustration of the difference between motion and progress.

I once heard a leadership talk that contrasted these two actions. I want to borrow that concept and make a few observations and comments that can strengthen your leadership. Have you ever thought about the difference between these two forms of movement? Both motion and progress require movement but motion will not necessarily get you to your preferred destination. Yogi Berra once commented upon getting lost on the way to an engagement that “we were lost but we were making good time.” The key need of any organization is ultimately progress. However, employees can sometimes substitute motion for progress and fool themselves and others into thinking that they are being effective when they are not. As a church leader I often see this in congregations. Many churches have a lot going on with activities but are in decline and are not making disciples. I have observed employees who always appear busy but never seem to produce substantial results. How about you and the organization that you serve, the place you work, or the church you attend? Are you in motion or are you making progress? How about you personally?

Progress requires objectives, goals, or outcomes that you are seeking to move toward. These would equate to a destination if you were taking a trip on a bicycle. The stationary bike can replicate the motion of riding a bike but will not get you to the destination. The bicycle has the capacity to get you to the destination but will not do so if you do not pedal, steer, and just as importantly, move in the appropriate direction. Be sure to identify objectives before determining activities (how you will spend your time and energy). Otherwise you will be in motion and may confuse the activity (motion) with progress. Once you determine your objective(s) make plans that move you in that direction and consistently evaluate your progress. Take a few moments to think about your job, your leadership role, or the organization you serve. Which best characterizes your leadership? A person in motion or a leader making progress?

Firing an Organization

Do people ever fire companies? According to John G. Miller, they do. As a matter of fact, you have done it too. Have you ever had a bad experience at a restaurant, hotel, or a retailer and vowed never to eat, stay, or shop there again? You fired them! I don’t know about you, but I never want anyone to fire the organization (ministry) that I work for. We often think of “firing” in terms of individuals, but let’s be reminded that it happens to organizations each and every day.

I always seek to honor the Lord by excelling in my work and I know that you carry the same attitude. It would pain me to know that my attitude, my practices, my competence, or any other factor would place me in jeopardy of being fired. But do I ever consider that someone may be considering firing the organization (ministry) that I serve? John G. Miller points out that while people fire organizations, they do not fire OUTSTANDING ones. I believe the goal for all of us should be to make our ministries and organizations outstanding. I work for a great ministry. But, we know it can be even greater because everyone on our team has room to grow. How about yours?

What do you do if few or no guests are attending your church or group?

What do you do if few or no guests are attending your church or group?

The key to getting guests to visit your church or group is not a secret. An overwhelming majority of those who visit the first time are there because they were invited by a friend or a relative. The last stat I saw on this was around 87% with the second most common reason for a visit applying to only 6% of your guests. If you are not having guests the reason is clear; your members are not inviting people. What is the issue here? Leadership? Your church culture? Anemic ministry or services? Lack of challenge? If you are having not guests you certainly need to analyze. Here are a few short term and long term solutions.

Short Term:

  1. Look in the mirror.  This one is tough. You must evaluate your leadership and role in this problem. Don’t give up. Grow and develop your skills.
  2. See the fields. Have you ever seen any demographic information on your city or county. It is eye-opening when you see the number of un-churched around you. You will find that anywhere from 70-90% (in North America) are not in church in your community on a given Sunday. Many, if not most, of those have no relationship with Jesus. Get this information and share it with your members.
  3. Apply the Law of Large Numbers. It is a simple principle. If you invite two people, one of them might respond. If you invite 100 people, you will have guests. Find a way to challenge your members and measure how many guests are being invited.
  4. Open the side doors. Some members of your community who will not attend worship will attend a fellowship. Your ministry should offer several throughout the year to introduce community members to your congregation. They are more inclined to attend when relationships are initiated and established with your members.

Long Term:

  1. Train members in evangelism. That is what the most effective churches and groups do. They do not train 52 weeks out of the year but they do not let 52 weeks go by without providing training. Train everyone through your teaching, preaching, and leadership. If not, you will continue to struggle getting your members to invite guests. The training begins with equipping members to be good inviters to not only your worship, but to fellowship opportunities.
  2. Work on the total environment. Lead some of your members on a “Nehemiah Walk.” Examine your facilities, meeting space, signage, greeting procedures, follow up plan. Are your facilities inviting? You know it can be improved. Get to it!

This is a blog, not a book so these solutions are not exhaustive but hopefully something will click that will help you provide leadership that results in more guests because after all, the ultimate goal is that guests would ultimately become disciples or grow as disciples and in turn help us in making more disciples in the future.

How Effective Churches Follow Up on First Time Guests

I shared in my previous post how to respond if few or no guests are attending your church or group. I wanted to follow up by sharing how effective churches follow up on first time guests. You will find that the churches that do well have a system.  Now that system can vary from church to church in the details but the systems share these four traits in common:

 

  1. The church has a “system.” When a guest visits for the first time a process is triggered that automatically assures that several things will happen within the next week. It begins with seeking to register as many guests as possible by any means possible to harvest contact information.
  2. The church will provide a “quick touch” of some kind within 24 hours. The touch could be a call, email, text, or social media contact, but you can be assured the visit of the guest will be acknowledged quickly and without fail.
  3. Someone from the church will provide a “personal touch” during the following week. This interaction will be warm, encouraging, and person to person. It may or may not be in person but it will be personal. The strongest “personal touch” is to find a way to share a meal or coffee and dessert. A phone call is better than no touch but the more personal, the better.
  4. The church will make “multiple touches” over the coming weeks.  This will better insure that a ministry touch is made. Emails can be missed. Texts can be overlooked. Visits can be made to find no one at home. Calls can go to voice mail. Social media posts may not be viewed. Multiple touches increase the likelihood that a connection will be made.

 

The touches found in the churches systems do not represent the end of the process, but rather the beginning. The key is to move the guests toward relationships with members. The touches can get a guest to return but they will only assimilate if relationships are developed. However, the first touches are an important link in the chain. What is your church doing that is “automatic” once a guest visits?

The Need for Speed

Outstanding organizations are known for being fast. That does not mean they are “sloppy” with their work or that they are not deliberate in decision making. But people are drawn to them because they get good service and get it in a timely manner. When I am in a restaurant, I love my meal to be freshly prepared. But, I don’t want to wait three hours in order for that to happen. Being fast is not easily definable but you know when an organization is slow or unresponsive. We are admittedly the victims of a culture that is technologically advanced and has an expectation of quick quality service. Microwave ovens, cell phones, Google, and express lanes are just a few examples of modern technological factors.  Cultural advances have raised expectations and that expectation is growing rather than diminishing. That begs the question: What does it mean to “be fast” in your area of service or ministry?

 

  1. It means those who contact you by any means can expect a prompt and timely response. You may not be able to bring their question, concern, or need to a quick resolution, but you can get started on the resolution quickly. In the worst case scenario, you should respond the next business day. You should strive to make an initial response on the same day you receive contact. The ideal is to get back with them very quick. “But my workload is so great!” you  might say. That does not change the expectation of those making contact. Those who contact you for ministry and service are “your work.” You must work with your team to find a way. Remember that a quick acknowledgement of their need and a commitment to follow through will suffice if you are in a crunch. But you must follow up soon.
  2. It means that you meet deadlines and that you communicate on those occasions when it is not possible to meet the deadline. I work from a task list and I rarely schedule something to be done the day of or the day before it is due. If something is due on Friday, I put it on my task list for Wednesday (or even earlier if it is a larger project). I am typing this post on Wednesday to go out next week. That builds in a buffer for me in the event of unforeseen demands on my schedule. Meeting deadlines is directly related to your time management skills and that is an area you must always seek to develop given the demanding culture in which we serve.
  3. It means that you seek to provide an environment where quick decisions can be made. That is a tall task in a larger organization. Develop relationships and systems that allow for quick decisions to be made so that your team and your constituents can get a timely response to their ministry needs.

That went by fast! Until next time….

Maximized Leadership: The Need To Lead (an important message for my senior adult friends)

I like to drive. Whenever my family gets in the car I automatically go to the driver’s seat. We do not discuss it…that is just the way it happens. I remember when my oldest daughter turned fifteen. You know what happened. She wanted to get a learners permit. I had actually let her drive in the church parking lot on several occasions ever since she was about thirteen. Once she turned fifteen we got out on the road but I was still there to guide her and when needed to tell her what to do or where to turn. Then she turned sixteen. She passed her drivers exam and I gave her the keys. Now that was a scary moment. At that point she began making many of the decisions for herself. What if I had refused to equip her or to turn over the keys? You should know that she is thirty years of age now. However, when she was sixteen it was not only unsettling to let her drive but it was also risky. What if she were to have a wreck? What if she gets hurt? What if she hurts someone else? What if she breaks a law? What if she damages the car? Do I take the risk or do I hold her back? If I hold her back, how will she get around when she turns thirty?

I reluctantly turned the keys over and I am glad that I did. I’ll admit, she damaged the car, got a couple of speeding tickets, went some places I would prefer she not have gone, and caused me some grief and worry. But, it all turned out alright. She now drives to work, gets where she needs to go without me having to pick her up and take her everywhere, and actually drives to visit with me. I like that! The reality is that it would not have been healthy for me to withhold from her the opportunity to learn to drive, to actually drive, and then to allow her to be somewhat independent of me in her decision making. She still comes to me for counsel but since I released her to drive on her own, she is getting along just fine.

This whole story is true and it is also a metaphor for my senior adult friends. I am fast approaching your life stage and I really appreciate all you have done for the church and value what you are doing now. But, I have a question. How are you doing at turning over the keys? Are you still the one doing the driving in your church? Or have you invested in some younger leaders and given them the keys? If you do, it is risky. They will make decisions that are different than you may have and they will make some mistakes that would not have been made if you were driving. It can be really aggravating when they turn the radio to music on a station that you do not like. But, how can they learn to drive unless you allow them to…drive. Your influence is still crucial and your opinion is still valuable. I do know of some churches where the older leaders have refused to turn over the keys or to allow some of the younger members to drive. Interestingly, there are now no young people to give the keys to in some of these churches. They have all left to go to a church where they are allowed to drive. Who wants to sit in an infant’s car seat when they are old enough to drive themselves? Turning over the keys does not mean that your work is done or that your value is less. It reflects that you truly grasp what it has meant to “make disciples.” They still need you…but the next generation also has the need to lead. How are you doing at turning over the keys?

Why Some Leaders Get a Pass When They Make Mistakes

Why Some Leaders Get a Pass When They Make Mistakes

I once thought that I made a mistake but it turned out that I was wrong. I could not resist that opening line. Though I am not a comedian, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. I hate to make mistakes and I make them all too often.  The good news is that you don’t have to be “mistake free” in order to be effective. You certainly don’t want to make the same mistakes over and over. Outstanding leaders seek to minimize their mistakes and any diligent organization should do likewise. The person who never admits that they have made mistakes commits perhaps an even more egregious error than committing a mistake in the first place.

Russ Gasdia was once ask what he considered to be the three characteristics of an effective leader. He replied, “humility, humility, humility. Effective leaders know they make mistakes, accept feedback from others to learn, admit that they don’t always know what’s right, and recognize that it is ‘not all about them.’ When they succeed they are humble. When they fail, they are humble. And lastly, they never think they are more important than their customer.”

Confidence is commendable but I believe we can all agree that arrogance is contemptible. Always do your best and seek to minimize your mistakes. However, you may have noticed that some leaders get “a pass” when they make mistakes and perhaps you can too. Those who get through the errors and continue to thrive have these qualities in common:

  1. They have established a pattern of excellence and effectiveness while big mistakes are the exception rather than the rule.
  2. They have focused on building relationships and therefore people know their motives are pure even if the outcome sometimes falls short.
  3. They tend to make long-term commitments and don’t quickly move from place to place.
  4. They tend to exercise grace themselves when others make mistakes.
  5. They are always purposefully progressing in their skills and leadership abilities.

Do not misunderstand the intent of this message. Egregious errors and moral failures, while they can be forgiven, will result in the forfeit of leadership opportunities. But effective leaders find a way to be strengthened by mistakes rather than crippled by them. Examine yourself in light of these five qualities and apply them to strengthen your leadership even amidst occasional mistakes.

*Paragraph 2 taken from chapter 2 of John G. Millers’ Outstanding!

Tear Down That Wall

A leader possesses a natural desire to thrive. An effective leader wants to thrive while helping those around him or her to thrive also. The best leaders do not focus exclusively on their own success. To do so would be narcissistic which is counter intuitive to effective leadership. In a multi-layered organization where multiple staff members serve, multiple departments or ministries conduct work, and workers perform a variety of different functions, the tendency is to focus on the task of the department without regard to the needs of the other teams. This tendency is known as “silo-ing.” It is not always intentional but it is always detrimental to the mission of the organization.

A leader or team member in a department or ministry should stand up for their team. It is healthy to have passion for the task assigned, to have expertise, to defend the team members, and to carry the banner for his or her area of assignment. However, each team member should recognize that they play a role on a larger team. Failure to do so can lead to unhealthy competition within the organization and lack of cooperation in accomplishing the ultimate mission. Here are three ways that leaders and team members contribute to the silo effect and note that all are avoidable and correctable:

  1. Operating as if me or my team is exempt from standards, procedures, rules, policies, or expectations communicated by organizational leaders.
  2. Planning activities, events, meetings, and/or developing strategies without regard to what any other team in the organization is doing.
  3. Operating as if what my team does is superior to what other teams are assigned to do.

This can happen in a business. It can happen in a religious organization. It can happen in a church. As a matter of fact, Paul tackled this very issue in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27. Seek to thrive in your assignment but do so in a way that helps others to thrive also. Doing your part to minimize the silo effect is one key to making it happen.

 

Understand Why Some Stay

Tom Crites and I recently conducted a national research project in an attempt to understand what helps young adults stay committed to church. Much has been written about the erosion of attendance and the exodus of young adults from church, but not everyone leaves. We surveyed 26-39 year old young adults who grew up attending church to discover what happens in their younger lives that helps them stay committed into their adult lives. The findings have been incredible. We discovered fifteen major takeaways and are now in the process of writing to help equip parents and pastors to be more effective in making disciples that mature and stay committed to the church.

Here is one example of something that did not make as much of a difference as we would have thought: participation in a new Christian’s class. Various denominations use different terms for this experience, but in essence it reflects several hours of equipping and education to help a new young believer understand the essentials of faith and doctrine. Participation is a rite of passage in some faith traditions provided at a particular age, while in others it is available at whatever point a child, or in some circumstances teens or adults, express their desire to become a follower of Jesus Christ. An introductory discipleship experience such as this is commendable, important, and any church would do well to offer an orientation experience for young believers. However, no correlation was noted between whether one did or did not attend such a class and whether or not they stayed in church as adults.

The point of this finding is not that a church should not offer such an experience. I believe that they absolutely should and if your church does not, you need to find a way to make it happen. However, you cannot confine one’s discipleship experience to a four, six, or eight hour class. A New Christians class or the equivalent by any other name is an introduction to discipleship, and Christian education and spiritual maturity cannot be conferred by a certificate. Discipleship is a lifetime journey. Offer the New Christians class but also be sure to determine what comes next. Simply providing a New Christians class does not result in a lifetime commitment to serve Christ in a local church.

I look forward to sharing more with you about this project in the future. In the mean-time, if you would like to dig a little deeper, take time to listen to the podcast interview as Jody Livingston and I discuss several of the key takeaways with a special focus on youth ministry. Go here for the podcast: Jody Livingston Podcast