Relationships

“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” – Teddy Roosevelt

 

What is the key to being an effective leader? You will be hard pressed to narrow a list down to one particular asset. What if you could narrow it down to four? That would give you as an aspiring leader tangible areas to develop than can propel your leadership forward. The Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro, North Carolina, studied 105 successful executives and noted these four common characteristics.

1. They took ownership of mistakes rather than blaming others.
2. They could get along with a wide variety of people.
3. They had strong interpersonal relationship skills, including sensitivity and tactfulness.
4. They were calm and confident as opposed to moody and volatile.

John Maxwell states that unsuccessful executives “tend to be too tough, abusive, sarcastic, aloof, or unpredictable. Their worst fault is being insensitive to others.” Do not be thrown off by the word “executive” here. These are men and women who have emerged into high levels of leadership and the lessons apply to all who desire to maximize their influence.

I would add a fifth item to the list for those who desire to be “spiritual leaders.”

5. They place a high priority on their personal spiritual development which results in passion for their work and compassion for people inside and outside of their organization (or congregation).

This is a good checklist from which you can self-evaluate. Of these five characteristics, where is your strength? Where are you falling short? What action(s) do you need to take to progress in the weakest area?

To revisit a quote I shared recently: “Successful leaders tend to be hard on themselves while unsuccessful people tend to be hard on others.” Evaluate yourself and commit to grow so that you can maximize your leadership!

Adapted from Chapter Seven of Developing the Leader Within You by John Maxwell.

Don’t tell anyone else about this. Keep it to yourself. I am about to let you in on a secret about effective leaders. They are “sneaky.” Before I tell you, please keep in mind the context that these are outstanding leaders who work hard, commit themselves to personal development, and get the job done. They are anything but lazy. But they are “sneaky.” Here is how:

1. They sometimes strategically go “radio silent.” Radio silence is a military term where all transmissions are ceased in order to protect details of a mission from enemy ears. What does that mean for the leader? He or she sometimes needs a brief reprieve from the continual stream of noise, demands, questions, and decisions. Therefore, without you knowing it, they will disconnect from social media, have all messages sent to voice mail, turn the phone to the off position, and/or do their work at a location other than their primary office. They will do this for a short period and you will not even know it. They create some space to think, plan, or rest, but do not fall behind because their system for conducting work is effective.

 

2. They sometimes sneak out to play. Whether they take a morning to fish, catch a weekday ball game, work in their garden, or get in a round of golf, you will not know it. They are sneaky. And their work still gets done. It doesn’t seem fair since everyone else is at work while they are playing. But context becomes important once again. You did not know they worked past 10:00pm three nights last week. They may not have gotten a day off last week. You may not have considered that they were at the office an hour or more before everyone every day last month. Effective leaders do not work only forty hours each week. They work hard until the job is done based on responsibility rather than clocks. But they are not workaholics either because that would cost their families and other valuable relationships. They will only do this occasionally. They don’t abuse it, but they are sneaky and refresh themselves occasionally by getting away for a few hours to play. Don’t begrudge them because they still get the job done.

 

3. They are smart and sneakily make themselves look even smarter. Effective leaders are smart, educated, and knowledgeable, but they don’t know everything. They surround themselves with talented team members. They are avid readers (researchers) and lifetime learners. But, everyone has limitations. They may not know everything but they know how to get to the information they need quickly. They do it through staff, through personal study, diligence in seeking information, persistence, and fortitude. They know a lot, but not as much as you think. They have brains, but more importantly have been sneaky about developing skills that make them appear even smarter.

 

Don’t tell anyone. But, being sneaky can sometimes help you to maximize your leadership!

We are living in a time of great blessing. The ability to travel by car or plane enables us to make journeys on a weekend or in a one-week time frame that would have been unimaginable for all of history up until the last century. We live in an economy where almost everyone has resources that would have only belonged to the wealthy in previous generations. I look forward to family vacation opportunities and I appreciate the many options that are available to my family for travel and leisure.

Here come the summer months. People are traveling and the Worship and Bible Study attendance drops. Apparently, you and I are not the only ones who appreciate the options available for travel and leisure. The lower attendance can be frustrating to a pastor or Bible Study leader. Can anything be done to stump the summer slump?

1. Make sure your measurement is properly oriented. Attendance tends to fall into a pattern of two surges and two slumps, each year in North American churches. The first surge ordinarily occurs in August (when school starts back) through October. November and December averages will generally be lower because of holiday weekends. Attendance will surge again in January through March unless the weather is extremely bad. April (with Spring Break for students) begins the second slump that may fall even deeper by July. Here is the key. Compare your attendance to the same month last year instead of the previous month. You may be averaging less in June than you did in March. But, if you will check your records you may find that you are averaging more than you did last June.
2. Spend more energy rejoicing over those present than bemoaning those who are absent. I wonder if we might sometimes feed the slump by complaining. Members can still grow and the lost can still be reached on any day or any week of the entire year including the summer months.
3. Don’t back off of the drivers of growth. Don’t let up on connecting with absentees, ministering to members, group fellowships, outreach, enlisting new members, etc. Keep your foot on the ministry accelerator or else you will feed the slump even further. You need to continue to sow these seeds with the understanding that you may not reap the results until August or September.
4. Utilize the VBS strategy. Remember that Vacation Bible School is not intended only to be a week of Bible Study for the children in your church. That is a benefit of the week. The purpose is to introduce prospective families to Bible Study, to share the gospel, to connect them to groups, and to transition them into your discipleship process.
5. Some churches successfully utilize themes and/or promotions to rally around. This particular idea does not work with every congregation. You must know the culture of your church. Many churches promote a theme and/or a promotion to spark interest and encourage faithfulness. The theme I utilized recently in the church where I served as interim pastor was “The Summer of No Fear.” The summer sermon series addressed issues related to “fear” and the Bible Study leaders participated in a promotion called the “Bible Study No Fear Factor.” In another church, we went “Contact Crazy” for the summer and tried to document our invitation of several thousand people to be our guest during the summer months.

Paul reminded the Corinthians that if they sowed sparingly they would reap sparingly. While it is an uphill struggle to maintain the same level of attendance in the summer, it is not impossible and not unprecedented. But to maximize your leadership you must be strategic and intentional. What is your plan?

I went to bed disappointed last night after my favored team, the Atlanta Falcons, allowed an NFL championship to slip from their grasp in the closing minutes of the game. I woke up this morning ready to take on the day without regard to who won or lost. It is a game and it is a game I love. But, I do not live or die by what happens on a football field. I did learn something about leadership, however.

The theme for the New England Patriots this year was “do your job.” The premise is to focus on your responsibility, do it with excellence, and see it through. Don’t be concerned about what others are supposed to be doing. “Do your job!” I have often stated that the greatest expertise lies in knowing how someone else should be doing their job. Whether it is a referee, a coach who makes a call we don’t agree with, a president, our boss, or a CEO, we have a tendency to mentally (and sometimes verbally) critique and pontificate on how they can do their job better. It is so easy to be an expert on someone else’s job when you have no personal responsibility or consequences for an opinion. Bill Belichick drove home to his team day in and day out to focus on their own job rather than the job or task that someone else has responsibility for.

The theme this past year that drove the Atlanta Falcons was “brotherhood.” The year started with four days of exercises that had little to do with football. Team building exercises were engaged in to bring the team members together on a personal level. The exercises and the time together engendered greater loyalty, personal connections, appreciation for teammates, and common purpose. Genuinely caring for team members or co-workers should compel team members to always give their best in the interest of the team.

These two strategies beg the question: As leaders, should we influence followers to focus on their assigned task or to expend greater energy on working together. The answer is “yes.” A skilled leader does both. You can rest assured that Coaches Quinn and Belichick promoted both levels of focus while highlighting a message for this particular season that his players needed to hear and apply. Both teams were served well and yours will be too. “Do your job” and “serve those around you (brotherhood)” and you will maximize your leadership!

I am now ready for the new season and my hope for my beloved Falcons springs eternal! Congratulations to both teams on excellent seasons.

I recently shared about how leaders seek to circumvent, minimize, and solve problems. The easiest problem to deal with is the one prevented before it even occurs. However, some crises come without warning or in spite of your best efforts to anticipate in advance. Effective leaders are problem solvers and I once read that you can judge one’s level of leadership by the size of the problems that he or she is tasked with addressing. They are effective because they recognize and utilize these three approaches to solving problems.

1. Brains. That’s right. They use their brains. Here is the good news. A high I.Q. is advantageous but there is more to solving real world problems in your organization than the ability to solve a Rubik’s Cube in a short amount of time. Good problem solving takes a combination of intellect, education, training, experience, creativity, patience, assertiveness, risk, and street smarts. I am reminded of the truck that got stuck under an overpass and after several hours, the engineers were getting to the point of suggesting a major deconstruction of the bridge. That is until an uneducated farmer observed the situation and suggested that they try deflating the tires on the truck upon which it was removed within the next ten minutes. An effective leader feeds his or her intellect through life-long learning by formal (degrees) and informal (avid readers) means as well as being a student of leadership and problem-solving.
2. Teamwork. Sometimes a problem needs more brain power than one person possesses. In addition, intelligence comes in more than one form. Everybody’s brain works a little different. Some people have mechanical intelligence, while others possess verbal intelligence, or musical ability, athletic or physical skills, logic skills, emotional intelligence, and on and on it goes. The combination is different for everyone. Once you mix in education and personal experiences, the blend is unique to each individual. That is why an effective leader will get the perspective and input of team members and trusted colleagues to find solutions. The bigger the problem the more likely the team is brought into the process. The collective I.Q., experience, and wisdom of a team will almost always exceed that of even the most gifted individual leader.
3. Humility. This is the quality that separates the good leader from the great leader. Superman is a cartoon character, not a real person. Sometimes you need the help of an expert from outside of your organization. One of the most humbling experiences of my life was my inability to effectively parent a strong-willed child when she was a teenager. I had to get help and admit to myself my own shortcomings in being effective at solving the problems created by her rebellious nature. It was by the grace of God and the guidance of a skilled counselor over the course of a year that we advanced and ultimately solved a series of issues that could have been catastrophic but instead became a source of ultimate blessing and strength. Leaders are strong by nature and don’t like to admit their shortcomings. However, they place the needs of their organization, their church, or their followers ahead of their ego and do whatever it takes to get the job done. That sometimes requires the partnership of an expert from outside their circle, their staff, their church, or their organization.

I will add, in conclusion, that the inability or unwillingness of some to seek outside input or guidance is the reason that many people never maximize their leadership. Use your brain, consult with your team, but don’t be afraid to get the objective perspective of other skilled leaders from outside of your organization when you tackle the bigger problems that you face.

You have likely noticed that changing churches in North America have become commonplace for Christian families. Many of the reasons are legitimate such as relocation to a new community. Obviously a family should seek a new place to worship and serve if they are compelled to move away from a former church. Sometimes the reasons are not so legitimate, such as not liking the music. However, the point of this article is not to judge whether changing churches or the reasons are good or bad, legitimate or illegitimate. I want to address what any Christian should do before leaving any church for any reason. Here we go:

1. Have a conversation with your pastor. This is so important. I will say to pastors at this point that when this conversation occurs, you should never plead with the one who is leaving to stay. I wrote an article on this recently called “Leaders Never Beg.” I want to say to the member who is leaving that the tone of this conversation should be marked by the following characteristics; Christ-like, humble, honest, appreciative, and genuine about the reason for your departure. “We are moving to another city.” That makes sense and your pastor will want to encourage you as you prepare to move. “The Lord is leading us somewhere else.” Is that right? Be honest. If something is bothering you, your pastor needs to know. Here is why. Suppose seven families leave in the course of six months. Further, suppose that five of them leave for the same reason. The pastor may pick up on a pattern that needs to be addressed. In business, this is referred to as an exit interview. If you are departing, you need to take this initiative. Meet with your pastor personally before you leave no matter the reason for your departure. Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor. [Romans 13:7 HCSB]
2. Seek reconciliation for any offense given or received. Are you upset with someone? Is someone upset with you? It happens. The church consists of people and where there are people there are opinions, personalities, decisions, mistakes, and often hurt feelings. It can happen to anyone. The Bible tells you what to do before you ever worship at another church. So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. [Matt. 5:23-24 HCSB] You may or may not get a resolution. You may still choose to leave no matter the outcome. But you do have a responsibility according to God’s word to do all you can to leave on the right terms with those who have offended you or those whom you have offended. I will add one other note on this point: The absence of a resolution does not absolve you of your responsibility and the privilege of worship and service in the context of a local body of believers. Don’t drop out. Their errors are not God’s fault. 3. Completely fulfill ministry commitments. I have known Bible study leaders who resigned one Sunday and were gone the next. I have known deacons who left in the middle of a three year term (commitment). I have known church leaders who did not show up to fulfill obligations without making appropriate arrangements to fill the gap in their absence. Your decision to change churches does not absolve you of commitments that you made. You may mutually agree with leaders that it is best to step aside immediately or very soon, but the key here is “mutually agree.” When possible you should completely fulfill your commitment. When you cannot, you should give substantial notice and insure that your responsibilities are not left uncovered because they are “yours.” A decision to change churches on your part does not constitute an automatic release from your commitments. When you make a vow to God, don’t delay fulfilling it, because He does not delight in fools. Fulfill what you vow. Better that you do not vow than that you vow and not fulfill it. [Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 HCSB]
3. Completely fulfill pledges. Have you made a financial pledge? The key here is the word “pledge.” You are the one that made it. You are the one responsible for fulfilling it. I appreciate that my opinion on this may not sit well with some people. Forget my opinion. Here is what the scripture says: But let your word ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one. [Matthew 5:37] When you leave do not fail to fulfill your pledges even after you leave. I will add another personal note at this point. I sometimes do not like what is happening in my church. But I never withhold the Lord’s money from ministries in my church and the missions’ support that flows from it because of the decisions of any individual, group, or leader. My money belongs to the Lord and I do not use His money as a weapon or to make a point when I am at odds with church decisions.
4. Continue to exemplify what it means to love God with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Sometimes people go to a new church and back up on their level of commitment and service. Surprisingly, some people stop going to church altogether. Jesus was asked which of the commandments was most important. Do you remember the first and most important one? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. [Matthew 22:27] Those words from the Lord Jesus do not change when or if you decide to change churches and is certainly inconsistent with dropping out altogether. Don’t back up on your faith. Press forward with all that you’ve got. After all, Jesus is worthy of your best. Right?

You may need to change churches now or at some point down the road. Hopefully you can invest and serve through a local body of believers for years and years to come. But….if you must leave….don’t forget these five things that every Christian should do before they change churches. That will maximize your leadership!

Last week I wrote about “What every Christian should do before changing churches.” I wrote an article one year ago looking at the same issue from the perspective of how church leaders should respond to the loss of any member. Here is what I shared:

Every church experiences the loss of members. Not every loss is a bad reflection on the church or its leadership. Sometimes people move out of the community and can no longer feasibly continue to be an active participant in the former church. Sometimes people are disgruntled and quite frankly were inclined to create problems rather than resolve them. No one generally regrets the loss of trouble makers. Some people who leave have not been involved in years or never really plugged in to begin with. And then of course there is the loss of those who go on into eternity.

While the loss of some members can simply be a reflection of the normal course of life, like the death of a senior saint, losses can also be detrimental. What happens when the number of people leaving are outpacing the number of new people being reached? What about those that have been lost because of failure on the part of the current leadership to provide ministry in times of need? How about those who drift away because of hurt, whether real or perceived, because of broken or damaged relationships? You can easily overlook losses when the church is growing. But should you? If you ignore the losses of members, you are missing an opportunity for personal growth and a pathway to more effective leadership and ministry. I want to propose that five things should always be true when a family or member leaves your church:

1. A leader of the church engages in a conversation with every member or head of family who leaves to determine the bottom line for why they are departing.
2. In the event that someone has been wronged, or perceives they have been wronged, the leadership proactively seeks reconciliation, not based on whether they will return or not, but based on biblical responsibility.
3. Someone in the church has responsibility for tracking who engaged in the conversation, when it happened, what the bottom line reasoning for the departure was, and documents any response from the church when and if applicable.
4. Every three to four months (minimum), the pastor along with key leaders examines the documentation to determine if there are identifiable patterns. For example: Six of nine families left because of concerns or problems related to the preschool ministry. That is a pattern. Some action is needed to prevent other families from the same experiences. Another example: Three of the twelve families that left in the last few months were put off by the political comments of a Bible Study leader. All three couples were in the same group. Is there a problem here? Maybe and maybe not, but it is worth considering.

Some people seem to live disgruntled lives and cannot be satisfied. Others are looking to be served rather than to serve and move from church to church. But, when you lose committed members who have not left the community, you would do well to ask the hard questions. Really, it is not the questions that are hard. It is the answers! They can hurt, but they can also prompt us to improve.  One more proposal if you want to take it all the way.

5. In spite of the fact that the church is losing someone, and if the departure is determined and inevitable, they should graciously and proactively help the departing members find another church. That is a kingdom mindset that is rarely found in churches. I don’t want to lose anyone but I would rather one of my members find a new place to serve, worship, and thrive, than to see them disconnect. That would certainly be a reflection of their immaturity, but the fact is that our church was given the task of bringing them into maturity. Therefore, I want them in church. If not mine, then yours.

Gaining momentum is the desire of the leader. It occurs when progress toward the mission and objective of the organization moves forward. It is the point when hard work and diligence begin to pay off. Sometimes more is accomplished with less investment because the energy has been generated and more team members and stakeholders are carrying the load. Everyone seems to be pulling in the same direction. Progress. Wins. Success. Celebration. Overcoming. Breaking through barriers. Momentum.

However, some leaders have an unhealthy habit of throwing out anchors that rob the church, organization, or business of potential momentum. The aptitude and the attitude of the team members is critical. Be careful not to sabotage the attitude of team members. Here is how it happens:

1. When you belittle someone. Everyone likes to laugh. Jokes and pranks can be a lot of fun. That is, unless you are on the receiving end. You are not in High School anymore. You cannot motivate people by failing to show respect. Sarcastic, cutting, and critical comments equate to removing the fuel from the tank of the very person you need as a partner to get you to your destination. Criticism should not be avoided, but it should be far outweighed by frequent words of appreciation and encouragement. Talk people up. That is what effective leaders do.
2. When you manipulate someone. No one likes to be used or to feel used. People value transparency well above one’s ability to be cunning. The golden rule should always apply. Treat others as you desire to be treated. If you do not want people “using you” to their own ends, then do not be guilty of manipulating and using others for your own designs. The aim is to partner with your team members and followers seeking the best possible outcome for all and not simply for yourself.
3. When you are insensitive. One of your greatest assets are the people you work alongside and serve day in and day out. Being sensitive does not compel you to be “mushy” or “touchy-feely.” Be an active listener. Show genuine interest in people and their ideas. Acknowledge both accomplishments and personal losses that people experience. Demonstrate that you genuinely care and people will follow you. A leader has to be tough, but that does not mean you have to be tough to be around.
4. When you discourage personal growth. An effective leader is intentional about developing other leaders. He or she encourages the advancement and growth of those that work under their leadership. Determining to be a leader of leaders (that you enlist and develop) will bear more fruit than being a leader of followers. You may have noticed that effective football coaches continually lose their assistant coaches to new head coaching positions. That loss is actually a compliment to their leadership. When you provide an environment for people to grow and advance, you will lose talented members. However, that type of leadership continually draws new members onto the team or into the organization. Never stand in the way of growth opportunities for your team. John Maxwell stated it this way: “If you grow, we all benefit!”

Adapted from Chapter Seven of Developing The Leader Within You by John Maxwell.

Every effective organization has a leader and there can only be one at the helm. He or she will be most effective if they surround themselves with other capable team members who are called upon to lead from the middle. Always remember that an organization with no head is dead and an organization with more than one head is a monster. How do you help those who lead from the middle? If you are leading from the middle, take heart. God can use you mightily and you can exert great influence. I recently heard that the disposition of a leader is more important than the position. Here are some lessons I have learned about leading from the middle for you to apply or to pass along to team members.

1. It is the leader’s prerogative to have the final word. You will not always agree. He or she will not always be right. But, it is the leader’s prerogative to make the final call. Your role is first to help the leader to make a good decision. Do your research. Share your thoughts. Build a relationship that allows you to say what you think and even disagree because of the trust that you share. Once a decision is made, you should support the decision. That is tough to do sometimes, but that is your responsibility. In the most egregious of circumstances and in the event that you cannot be supportive, you should step aside. I am not speaking to issues of morality or integrity at this point. Always stand for those issues to the end. But, generally speaking, the leader bears responsibility for the final decision.
2. You will never have enough staff. I know what you are thinking. If we only had more staff then we could really move this church or organization forward. I have been on staffs of all sizes from two to two-hundred and we never have had enough. Don’t sit around waiting on additional staff. Use your talents, gifts, and experience to move your organization forward. Progress does not necessarily follow the addition of more staff members. Additional staff members usually follow the progress of the current staff. Focus on your mission and your responsibility. Give greater attention to what you have than to what you wish you had.
3. You will never have enough in your budget. Okay. I admit that some people are blessed and the budget has more than they can spend. You are likely not in that situation. The thinking here is the same as in point number two. If we had more money we could… Never let the size of your budget, determine what you can get done. See large financial resources as a blessing and not as a necessity. I say this particularly for those who serve in ministry. Resources do not necessarily bring you people. Reach people and they will bring additional resources. I am not just speaking of finances. People bring additional talents, time, and strength to the church or organization you lead.
4. You may be doing something different in a couple of years. If your ministry or business grows or succeeds, the roles of the team members will, because of necessity have to change. Enjoy what you do, but understand that what you do will likely need to change in the future. That means you need to grow and to be flexible. This is also good news if you do not enjoy what you are doing. I experienced this for over a year earlier in my ministry, but stayed focused leading the organization to grow, which opened new opportunities for me in a short span of time. It is good to do what you enjoy. It is equally important to learn to enjoy what you do. Work, after all, is a blessing. If you don’t believe me, let me put you in touch with friends who have been out of work for a while.

To respect your time, I will pick up next week. I want to do all I can to help you to maximize your leadership!

Are you “a” leader but not “the” leader? That is the category into which most leaders fall. Great things can be accomplished by those who lead from the middle. They may or may not get the credit. However, credit is not the goal. The goal is faithfulness, progress, success, change, or resolution depending on the situation. It does not matter who gets the credit so long as the job gets done. I love and respect my leader so very much. I also take joy on those occasions where he says or initiates something over which I had influence. We he wins, I win and all of our staff wins. If the organization does well that is good for all who are affiliated. Therefore, I am committed to do my best as I lead from the middle. I shared four key lessons for those who lead from the middle last week. Here are four more that will maximize your leadership.

5. Always be positive. It is the nature of organizations to struggle with communication, perpetual crises, misunderstandings, misalignment of staff, weaker staff members, and weariness. Effective organizations are never satisfied and many tasks are actually unconquerable. The team continually chases its goals, but there is never an end. In the midst of that weariness and frustration the team members can easily fall into the trap of cynicism, (unhealthy) criticism, and complaining. Take heart. Everyone does this to some degree. However, it should not be misconstrued as a spiritual gift. Catch yourself and beware of perpetual negativity. You will not last long and if you do, you will be an anchor on the progress of your church or organization. There is a time to criticize, but there is also a proper way to do so. When all is said and done, a leader who leads effectively from the middle lifts people up with a good attitude that sees the best in most situations instead of automatically gravitating to the worst interpretation. Be positive. Your church or organization likely has enough critics already!

6. Don’t hold grudges. You will be disappointed sometimes. People will make mistakes and will let you down. If you are around long enough, someone will hurt your feelings. You will not always get your way. You will encounter some people whose motives are not pure and their actions will bring hurt to you. What do you do in those circumstances? You must offer genuine forgiveness and let go of the hurts. If not, you will become the cynic and will be unable to accomplish the aims described in the previous point. Buddy Hackett once said that “while you carry the grudge the other guy is out dancing.” What does that mean? It means you only hurt yourself and not only do you become an anchor holding back your organization, but you also become the anchor to your own personal development and effectiveness. You will get hurt and when it happens, you must work through it, learn from it, and then let go.

7. Work hard, but not to the neglect of your family. Effective leaders are by nature hard workers and you should be. However, on this point you should not compromise. Strive to succeed with family and at work. But if you can only succeed with one, make it your family. Jobs come and go, but your family is a lifetime association and commitment. You can do both. It requires skills at prioritizing, establishing healthy boundaries, good time management, and a strong work ethic. Do you possess those four qualities or skills? If not get help because your church, organization, and most importantly, your family need your leadership.
8. Don’t dismiss your critics. I’ll admit it. I do not like to be criticized. But I do like the result of criticism. If you are a leader you will of necessity have to learn to handle criticism. If you are never criticized, it is because you are not doing anything. Even the most gifted and effective leaders get criticized. Jesus Christ came from God, served man, lived virtuously and constantly received criticism. Are you any better? It will happen. Don’t walk into it by constantly exercising poor judgment. But when it does happen, get up, brush yourself off, and ask yourself a question: To what degree is their criticism accurate? “Only one to two percent your say?” Then you have work to do. Address the two percent that they were accurate about and sharpen your leadership. That is what I mean by “liking the results of criticism.” I always seek to as objectively as possible understand what my critics are right about and make changes. John Schnatter once said, “I’ve always found that people who struggle are hard on others, but those who do well in life are hard on themselves.” You don’t have to enjoy criticism. I know I don’t. But you must grow from it if you lead from the middle. That is another way that you maximize your leadership.

I’m not done. I’ll have more to share on this subject next week. Stay tuned and please share with others.