Category: Relationships

My Church is in Trouble!

Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

I hope you read the previous blog: Signs that alert you that your church is in trouble. The article points out five signs that are often ignored which signal that the congregation is on the road to demise and often death. That is always tragic and no believer wants to see a congregation have to close the doors. What do you do if it is your church?

Don’t ignore the signs. My sister and I would play hide and seek when I was a small boy. I would run to an adjoining room, stand against the wall, and cover my eyes. She would find me within seconds and say “I see you there.” I would reply, “No you can’t, I have my eyes closed!” Closing your eyes and ignoring the signs will not make them go away and will not bring your church back to health.
Resist the impulse to blame. It is our pastor’s fault. We have deacons who won’t lead. Our members are apathetic. That may or may not be true. But calling people out will likely create anger, further frustration, and perhaps division. That is not to suggest that tough conversations will not need to take place at some point. But do not begin by assessing blame. Begin by evaluating yourself. What are you personally doing or failing to do that is contributing to the demise. Begin by looking at your role.
Pray. No, I mean really pray. Describe the prayer ministry of your church. Offertory prayers, benedictions, and praying for Aunt Thelma’s forthcoming surgery are all commendable. But, have you been on your face and on your knees, not once, not twice, but frequently alone and with others asking God to show up in your congregation.
Talk about the vision for the church. If you are not sure where you are going, how will you know if you ever get there? What do you want your church to be like five years and ten years from now? Are you doing the things that put you on the path that will take you there?
Bring in a specialist. You need someone to take an objective look at your congregation. Sometimes you cannot see the flaws when you live in a situation day in and day out. Fresh eyes can assist in bringing clarity to the issues and someone with Godly wisdom and experience can help you see the path forward more clearly. A person with a heart problem will do well to consult with a heart specialist. Consider bringing a church health specialist to assist with evaluating and strategizing the best way forward.

What To Do If Your Church Is Experiencing a Slump?

Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

“Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.” – Yogi Berra

Church life is absolutely a joy when everyone seems to be happy, the worship is spirited, people are coming to faith in Christ, and no threatening divisive issues are on the radar. Maintaining momentum over a long period of time is very difficult. I did a study once of churches in my state denomination to determine how many had experienced 2% or greater growth for the previous ten consecutive years without fail. Only six churches were able to do that or to see it another way; .0016%. That is a good reminder that even the best of churches are prone to go through occasional slumps. A church that is going through a slump is not dying, is not experiencing some contentious division, and is not going through dramatic erosion. The slumping church is doing okay but they have lost momentum and may not be progressing like they were in the previous months and years. What do you do when your church is in a slump?

Take the seasons into consideration. Most North American churches experience cycles that affect attendance throughout the calendar year. Churches ordinarily see a mild surge in attendance at the end of summer when school gets back in session and the vacation season comes to a conclusion. In addition, most churches re-launch their small group Bible Studies with new leaders, new groups, and promotion of school age children. Once November arrives the holiday weekend will pull down average attendance and December will bring at least two more weekends when many families travel. With the exception of extreme weather in warmer climate areas the attendance will rebound in January, February, and into March. April brings spring breaks followed by May with a holiday weekend and graduations resulting in decreased average attendance. Then summer comes and many families take advantage of warmer weather and the children being out of school to take much needed vacations. When school returns the attendance tends to rebound again. Seasonal slumps are common in every church as these up and down cycles occur each year.
Look beyond attendance. Church leaders should certainly take note of erosion. This occurs when attendance declines and continues to slide even when the seasons would suggest that participation in worship should rebound. Assuming that many months of decline are not the issue, look beyond attendance to other critical issues. Although this is second on the list it is actually most important. How is the prayer ministry going? Are members being equipped and challenged in personal evangelism? Is the Bible study and are the sermons fresh and challenging? Are the members reaching into the community to serve and minister? Be sure you are not neglecting these best practices that keep your congregation healthy and the momentum building.
Focus on what you can control. This point is made with acknowledgement that God is the source of momentum and forward progress. I am sure that you are well aware, however, that sin can get in the way. You have no control over whether more people will attend your church this Sunday. But you do have control over whether you have a repentant heart or not. You do decide whether you will spend time in God’s word each day. You make the decision of whether to minister, to participate in equipping opportunities, or whether to invite guests to participate in worship and church activities. You may not have control of the temperature but you can adjust your thermostat. Ordinarily, when you do, the temperature changes accordingly. Some actions on your part are equivalent to changing the thermostat.

A slump is temporary. Pray through it and know that God can teach you when you are in the valley. If the slump continues you have moved to erosion and that is a totally different challenge. Slumps are not enjoyable but neither are they abnormal. Attend to your personal spiritual growth when things are great, when times are tough, and even in the midst of a slump.

Mission Trumps Position

Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

Does the name Babe Ruth ring a bell? The avid sports fan certainly knows who that is. Even the less acquainted are likely aware that he held the Major League Baseball record for homeruns for almost forty years before being surpassed by Hank Aaron. During the three years prior to Ruth’s dramatic hitting career, a young pitcher on the same team recorded a 2.28 earned run average as a starter and had a winning percentage of .671. Do you happen to know who that was? Yes, you sports geeks know exactly who I am talking about. The young pitcher was none other than Babe Ruth. Ruth was on his way to perhaps becoming a Hall of Fame pitcher with stats like those.

However, he did not continue to serve the team as a starting pitcher. The coach determined that he would be more valuable playing every day, going to the plate four to six times per game, to drive in runs and give the offense a punch. He did not know that he would set the record for home runs when the change was made. What if he had balked at the decision? (I could not resist the pun.) You may have never heard of him. Who knows how the rest of his career may have gone as a pitcher. He may have excelled or he may have flopped. We will never know. What if he said, “I don’t want to play every day. I like pitching every fourth game.” What if he liked the spotlight of being before the crowd for every pitch instead of only five or six plate appearances?

What about you and your role? Do you like your position in the organization? You should at least have some affection for it and there is no harm in aspiring to greater things. However, a leader should never have the attitude of “I don’t know what I would do if I could not do this job (hold this position).” A growing leader is capable of holding several different positions with a degree of effectiveness and will excel where he or she is placed in the existing organization or in another organization for that matter. For one to possess the attitude that they cannot thrive in any other positon or any other place than where they are is not flattering. Hyper-specialization should not be confused with limited skill sets and lack of personal development. You serve your organization to help accomplish the mission. The mission must be superior in priority to your position. Otherwise, unhealthy internal competition, diminishing competence, and the undermining of your own credibility will result. You will best help those you serve now and in the future by placing more emphasis on the mission and less emphasis on your position. It is commitment to the mission that will get your organization to where it needs to be no matter what your position may be. The mission must take precedence over your position!

Speaking to the Tension Between On-Line versus In-Person Expressions of Worship

Commitment, Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

Would you allow me to share a message with you that I preached about 17 months ahead of the pandemic. I share this message with you humbly, not seeking feedback or response, but knowing the relevance of this message as we wrestle with the tension of on-line versus in person expressions of worship. In preparation for a seminary class I am teaching, this message came to mind and spoke to my heart as I viewed it months later. For our Network pastors, it will have the added benefit of allowing you to get to know me as a “preacher.” May God bless the preaching of His word!
https://vimeo.com/303060185?ref=fb-share&fbclid=IwAR1lpcxD26k1x3cnYOP0DOz3TDUOcY287ztMmPpruU2FlTix5JdvHas8Zrs

Helping Church Leaders Understand What Keeps Kids Connected to Church into their Adult Lives- Part Two

Commitment, Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

Please join me in the second part of this two-part series as I help your church leaders understand the keys to keeping the kids and teens who grow up in your church to stay connected to church into their adult lives. Each of the two sessions is about thirty minutes long. Watch it, post it, share it, forward it, use it in your next leader training session, or gather a group of your leaders to view and discuss. Part One was posted a couple of days ago and can be found at www.steveparr.net. Get ready now for part two. Here you go… Dr. Steve Parr Regroup Afternoon on Vimeo

Helping Church Leaders Understand What Keeps Kids Connected to Church into their Adult Lives- Part One

Commitment, Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

Please join me in this two-part series as I help your church leaders understand the keys to keeping the kids and teens who grow up in your church to stay connected to church into their adult lives. Each of the two sessions is about thirty minutes long. Watch it, post it, share it, forward it, use it in your next leader training session, or gather a group of your leaders to view and discuss. Part Two will be posted in a couple of days. Here you go with part one… DR. Steve Parr Regroup Morning 2016 on Vimeo

How to Advise a Pastor Seeking a Space When They Have No Place

Commitment, Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

Perhaps you are located in a region where property is readily available, inexpensive, and building costs are low. Perhaps….but unlikely. The area where I serve has a greater demand for space than supply and with every development, residential or industrial, the remaining properties grow more valuable and the alternatives for church plants or smaller congregations looking to upsize their facilities is challenging. I frequently have pastors inquire of me about possibilities and I am grateful that many churches that I serve gladly share space with additional congregations. However, what do you do if you don’t have a place to meet? How do you advise that pastor whose congregation has outgrown their home or their current space. Here are some words of wisdom for pastors seeking a space when they have no place.

Please be aware that when you contact a leader of a Network such as mine, or some other entity in your region, our priority lies with those who belong to our Networks. We want to help but we must keep our Network churches at the front of the line.
You might consider becoming a member of a Network like ours for many reasons, but among them in this circumstance:
1. If you actively engage with many other pastors, you may encounter someone who has knowledge of a space that is available.
2. If you actively engage with many other pastors and get to know them personally, and as they get to know your heart, they will advocate and seek space for you.
3. If you actively engage and others get to know your heart, it increases the likelihood that they will invite you to locate on their campus.
Contact and visit larger churches in your target community that have larger spaces. That is often where existing space and resources are readily found. Get to know the pastor and be a blessing to him. While it is okay to call a pastor, seek to have an in-person meeting so that he can get to know you. If possible, attend their worship service(s).
Don’t be “pushy,” but don’t be “shy.” Don’t “harass” a pastor but always follow up your conversations, even if it is to let him know you are going in a different direction.
Be aware that doctrinal alignment will be expected so only consider and contact churches where you can worship without either party violating the doctrinal convictions of the other.
If you are desperate for space, don’t be locked into a specific meeting time. Churches often have space available after lunch on Sundays.
Check with me local Network, Associational, and Denominational leaders about any campus possibilities that they are aware of. It is your responsibility to initiate contact and work out any agreement with churches or businesses they refer you to.
Check with local Network, Associational, and Denominational leaders about professional resources to identify potential space (not on a church property) for lease. These resources are available at no cost to you.
Get a written agreement of understanding whether meeting on another church campus or leasing non-church space. People of integrity can have different recollections of verbal conversations.
Keep commitments, honor any agreement, and take care of the property as if it were your own.

My Network has been blessed to assist fourteen congregations in locating space in the last couple of years. But don’t wait on me….or someone else. These words of wisdom may be the avenue God uses to get you to a place where your impact can be maximized. I pray for you that it will.

How Do You Preach to Inspire Participation in Bible Study Groups?

Commitment, Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

Schools are getting back in session over the next couple of weeks and that brings us to what I call the “Baptist New Year.” It is the season when we relaunch our small groups, Sunday School, or whatever you happen to call your Bible study groups. New leaders are enlisted, kids are promoted to the next group, space adjustments are made, new groups are launched (at least one or more should be at least), and the congregation is encouraged to get into a group.

While there are many relevant topics related to this relaunch, I want to touch on one specific issue. That issue is the critical role of the pastor in promoting participation in the groups. I often speak of the principle of gravitation. Whatever the leader elevates is that to which the followers gravitate. Therefore, I invite you to take about thirty-seven minutes to observe as I model this principle of gravitation, along with answering the question by modeling one example of how to preach on this subject by watching a message I shared as interim pastor of Hebron Baptist Church in 2018. I’m not suggesting that the message is perfect. It is far from it. But it was effective in getting new people committed to what Hebron calls their “Connect Groups.” I’ve done this often from a variety of texts and you can too…at any time of the year. However, take advantage of the momentum built into the beginning of the school year to inspire participation in your groups. I’ll add one more note. It does no good to send members in guests into your groups if they are not healthy so be sure you are equipping and growing your leaders. Find lots of resources to do that at www.steveparr.net.

Here is the message: Get Connected (Why every member needs to be in a small group) on Vimeo

TRAINING IN DRIPS

Commitment, Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

I was having a conversation with a church leader yesterday and shared about the strategy of “training in drips.” It is not the only way and should not be the exclusive way that you train leaders but I have found it to be effective. I believe the timing is right to repost this article that I produced a couple of years ago because it is still relevant and will be of value to you. Here we go…

Leaders who do not invest time in training those who serve on their team take the greatest of risks. What team members do, how they do it, and when they do it is left to their own imagination. Effective leaders take the initiative to equip members, to “coach them up,” to inspire them, and to increase their skills. The result is increased effectiveness and a greater ability to respond to challenges as well as to adapt. But where do you find the time? I have found a couple of ways which I refer to as “equipping in drips.” Check these three ideas and then I will explain.

1. Send a weekly email to all team members to help them develop their leadership. You are experiencing this technique as you read this article. Each week throughout the year I write a brief article for the staff that I lead to challenge them to grow in their leadership skills. I follow up by posting the article publicly so that others may benefit and be influenced.

2. Record a weekly video message for your team. I do this each week for Bible study leaders in the church where I serve as the interim Lead Pastor. It is only five minutes long and is attached to an email. I call my version the “Parr Five” and I use a free software called Screen-cast-o-matic. Watch an example here at ParrFive!

3. Spend one-on-one time with all team members at some time throughout the year. I try to do this by having lunch with each team member. For me, that is about seventy-five who serve on a “consultant level” or higher in our organization. I go with no agenda but more often than not end up discussing issues that make our organization stronger. It takes no extra time for me because I eat lunch every day anyway.

Note that none of these actions are profound. The first two require less than fifteen minutes of my time each week and the third requires no additional time. However, the combination has the potential to place me (my ideas and mentorship) before a staff member for up to nine or more hours during a year and mostly in five minute “drips.” That does not even include the formal gatherings that you have. It does make a difference. Equip your leaders by any means even if you must do it one drip at a time. That will maximize your leadership!

When a Staff Member Wants to be the Next Lead Pastor

Commitment, Equipping, Growth, Intentional, Leaders, Leadership, Leading, Maximized, Potential, Relationships, Results / By Steve Parr

“This saying is trustworthy:^[a] “If anyone aspires to be an overseer (Pastor), he desires a noble work.” -1Timothy 3:1

It is no surprise when one who is called of God to preach the gospel aspires to shepherd a congregation. Those who desire to serve as a pastor seek a good thing according to the scripture. The process in a Baptist church is unique, ordinarily slow, somewhat varied by church, and challenging. It is much easier to interview at a local business on Thursday and be invited to begin work on Monday. That is not the way it works in the seeking or calling of a new Pastor.

On some occasions, a congregation has a staff member who aspires to be the next Lead Pastor. That desire can often interject unintended tension and consequences. Having served fifteen churches as an interim pastor and having consulted with many pastor search teams, allow me to make some observations about this issue.

First, a staff member who desires to be the Lead Pastor should not submit himself for the position. I did not say that he should not be the next pastor. I said he should not submit his name. Here is why. If he is a valued staff member, and he likely is, he has a “following.” If the search team determines that he is not the right candidate, people are going to be upset. I have seen this cause division where it was not anticipated. Let me add that in some rare circumstances a staff member is brought to the church as a “successor” to the Lead Pastor. That makes this a moot point because the congregation has been fully aware for years that he is slated to take the role once the current pastor takes leave of his position.

Second, if a staff member is the “obvious choice,” there is no need to submit himself as a candidate because the Pastor Search Team will be approaching him. In this circumstance he is likely the clear choice and the process will go smoothly and probably quickly.

Third, if a staff member insists on submitting himself as a candidate he should be aware that he is going “all in.” While I do not play the game of poker, I am familiar with this concept. It means all of your chips are on the table and you either win it all or lose it all. There is no in between. A staff member needs to understand that if he makes himself a candidate that he will either become the new Lead Pastor or he will soon be leaving that particular congregation. Why is that? Because he will always be second guessing the next Leader who is in the position he felt he deserved. His attitude toward the next pastor, as well as the congregation who did not call him, will be tainted and difficult to resolve. Likewise, the next pastor may be suspicious and unable to develop the needed level of trust. Someone is reading this and saying “yes, but.” You are right that there are exceptions to all rules. However, I have seen many staff members moved along but rarely one who functioned in a healthy way as a staff member under a new leader for a position to which he aspired. Let me be clear that I am not suggesting this is necessarily a spiritual issue. I love the Lord but sometimes wrestle with relationships. The issues relate more to a sociological leadership dynamic than a spiritual issue. Staff members who are interested in taking the lead need to be aware of this.

Fourth, if a staff member has been submitted as a candidate, formally or informally, the Pastor Search Team needs to deal with that candidate first and come to a decision before moving forward. Why? Because either intentionally or unintentionally, he will be building a following (of greater numbers) as the months pass and if he is not called, the disappointments will result in the loss of many members at best and division at worst. I’ve seen it happen many times. Let me add that the strategy of hijacking the disappointed members to launch a new work down the road and calling it a church plant is not ethical. A genuine healthy church plant is done with the total affirmation and support of the sending church.

Be prayerful. Be deliberate. Be wise. This is not exhaustive but hopefully will fuel a healthy conversation if you or someone you know is dealing with a similar scenario.