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Please join me in the second part of this two-part series as I help your church leaders understand the keys to keeping the kids and teens who grow up in your church to stay connected to church into their adult lives. Each of the two sessions is about thirty minutes long. Watch it, post it, share it, forward it, use it in your next leader training session, or gather a group of your leaders to view and discuss. Part One was  posted a couple of days ago and can be found at www.steveparr.net. Get ready now for part two. Here you go… Dr. Steve Parr Regroup Afternoon on Vimeo

Please join me in this two-part series as I help your church leaders understand the keys to keeping the kids and teens who grow up in your church to stay connected to church into their adult lives. Each of the two sessions is about thirty minutes long. Watch it, post it, share it, forward it, use it in your next leader training session, or gather a group of your leaders to view and discuss. Part Two will be posted in a couple of days. Here you go with part one… DR. Steve Parr Regroup Morning 2016 on Vimeo

Perhaps you are located in a region where property is readily available, inexpensive, and building costs are low. Perhaps….but unlikely. The area where I serve has a greater demand for space than supply and with every development, residential or industrial, the remaining properties grow more valuable and the alternatives for church plants or smaller congregations looking to upsize their facilities is challenging. I frequently have pastors inquire of me about possibilities and I am grateful that many churches that I serve gladly share space with additional congregations. However, what do you do if you don’t have a place to meet? How do you advise that pastor whose congregation has outgrown their home or their current space. Here are some words of wisdom for pastors seeking a space when they have no place.

1. Please be aware that when you contact a leader of a Network such as mine, or some other entity in your region, our priority lies with those who belong to our Networks. We want to help but we must keep our Network churches at the front of the line.
2. You might consider becoming a member of a Network like ours for many reasons, but among them in this circumstance:
   1. If you actively engage with many other pastors, you may encounter someone who has knowledge of a space that is available.
   2. If you actively engage with many other pastors and get to know them personally, and as they get to know your heart, they will advocate and seek space for you.
   3. If you actively engage and others get to know your heart, it increases the likelihood that they will invite you to locate on their campus.
3. Contact and visit larger churches in your target community that have larger spaces. That is often where existing space and resources are readily found. Get to know the pastor and be a blessing to him. While it is okay to call a pastor, seek to have an in-person meeting so that he can get to know you. If possible, attend their worship service(s).
4. Don’t be “pushy,” but don’t be “shy.” Don’t “harass” a pastor but always follow up your conversations, even if it is to let him know you are going in a different direction.
5. Be aware that doctrinal alignment will be expected so only consider and contact churches where you can worship without either party violating the doctrinal convictions of the other.
6. If you are desperate for space, don’t be locked into a specific meeting time. Churches often have space available after lunch on Sundays.
7. Check with me local Network, Associational, and Denominational leaders about any campus possibilities that they are aware of. It is your responsibility to initiate contact and work out any agreement with churches or businesses they refer you to.
8. Check with local Network, Associational, and Denominational leaders about professional resources to identify potential space (not on a church property) for lease. These resources are available at no cost to you.
9. Get a written agreement of understanding whether meeting on another church campus or leasing non-church space. People of integrity can have different recollections of verbal conversations.
10. Keep commitments, honor any agreement, and take care of the property as if it were your own.

My Network has been blessed to assist fourteen congregations in locating space in the last couple of years. But don’t wait on me….or someone else. These words of wisdom may be the avenue God uses to get you to a place where your impact can be maximized. I pray for you that it will.

Schools are getting back in session over the next couple of weeks and that brings us to what I call the “Baptist New Year.” It is the season when we relaunch our small groups, Sunday School, or whatever you happen to call your Bible study groups. New leaders are enlisted, kids are promoted to the next group, space adjustments are made, new groups are launched (at least one or more should be at least), and the congregation is encouraged to get into a group. 

While there are many relevant topics related to this relaunch, I want to touch on one specific issue. That issue is the critical role of the pastor in promoting participation in the groups. I often speak of the principle of gravitation. Whatever the leader elevates is that to which the followers gravitate. Therefore, I invite you to take about thirty-seven minutes to observe as I model this principle of gravitation, along with answering the question by modeling one example of how to preach on this subject by watching a message I shared as interim pastor of Hebron Baptist Church in 2018. I’m not suggesting that the message is perfect. It is far from it. But it was effective in getting new people committed to what Hebron calls their “Connect Groups.” I’ve done this often from a variety of texts and you can too…at any time of the year.  However, take advantage of the momentum built into the beginning of the school year to inspire participation in your groups. I’ll add one more note. It does no good to send members in guests into your groups if they are not healthy so be sure you are equipping and growing your leaders. Find lots of resources to do that at www.steveparr.net. 

Here is the message: Get Connected (Why every member needs to be in a small group) on Vimeo

I was having a conversation with a church leader yesterday and shared about the strategy of “training in drips.” It is not the only way and should not be the exclusive way that you train leaders but I have found it to be effective. I believe the timing is right to repost this article that I produced a couple of years ago because it is still relevant and will be of value to you. Here we go…

Leaders who do not invest time in training those who serve on their team take the greatest of risks. What team members do, how they do it, and when they do it is left to their own imagination. Effective leaders take the initiative to equip members, to “coach them up,” to inspire them, and to increase their skills. The result is increased effectiveness and a greater ability to respond to challenges as well as to adapt. But where do you find the time? I have found a couple of ways which I refer to as “equipping in drips.” Check these three ideas and then I will explain.

1.     Send a weekly email to all team members to help them develop their leadership. You are experiencing this technique as you read this article. Each week throughout the year I write a brief article for the staff that I lead to challenge them to grow in their leadership skills. I follow up by posting the article publicly so that others may benefit and be influenced.

2.     Record a weekly video message for your team. I do this each week for Bible study leaders in the church where I serve as the interim Lead Pastor. It is only five minutes long and is attached to an email. I call my version the “Parr Five” and I use a free software called Screen-cast-o-matic. Watch an example here at ParrFive!

3.     Spend one-on-one time with all team members at some time throughout the year. I try to do this by having lunch with each team member. For me, that is about seventy-five who serve on a “consultant level” or higher in our organization. I go with no agenda but more often than not end up discussing issues that make our organization stronger. It takes no extra time for me because I eat lunch every day anyway.

Note that none of these actions are profound.  The first two require less than fifteen minutes of my time each week and the third requires no additional time. However, the combination has the potential to place me (my ideas and mentorship) before a staff member for up to nine or more hours during a year and mostly in five minute “drips.” That does not even include the formal gatherings that you have. It does make a difference. Equip your leaders by any means even if you must do it one drip at a time. That will maximize your leadership!

“This saying is trustworthy:^[a] “If anyone aspires to be an overseer (Pastor), he desires a noble work.”  -1Timothy 3:1

It is no surprise when one who is called of God to preach the gospel aspires to shepherd a congregation. Those who desire to serve as a pastor seek a good thing according to the scripture. The process in a Baptist church is unique, ordinarily slow, somewhat varied by church, and challenging. It is much easier to interview at a local business on Thursday and be invited to begin work on Monday. That is not the way it works in the seeking or calling of a new Pastor. 

On some occasions, a congregation has a staff member who aspires to be the next Lead Pastor. That desire can often interject unintended tension and consequences. Having served fifteen churches as an interim pastor and having consulted with many pastor search teams, allow me to make some observations about this issue.

First, a staff member who desires to be the Lead Pastor should not submit himself for the position. I did not say that he should not be the next pastor. I said he should not submit his name. Here is why. If he is a valued staff member, and he likely is, he has a “following.” If the search team determines that he is not the right candidate, people are going to be upset. I have seen this cause division where it was not anticipated. Let me add that in some rare circumstances a staff member is brought to the church as a “successor” to the Lead Pastor. That makes this a moot point because the congregation has been fully aware for years that he is slated to take the role once the current pastor takes leave of his position.

Second, if a staff member is the “obvious choice,” there is no need to submit himself as a candidate because the Pastor Search Team will be approaching him. In this circumstance he is likely the clear choice and the process will go smoothly and probably quickly. 

Third, if a staff member insists on submitting himself as a candidate he should be aware that he is going “all in.” While I do not play the game of poker, I am familiar with this concept. It means all of your chips are on the table and you either win it all or lose it all. There is no in between. A staff member needs to understand that if he makes himself a candidate that he will either become the new Lead Pastor or he will soon be leaving that particular congregation. Why is that? Because he will always be second guessing the next Leader who is in the position he felt he deserved. His attitude toward the next pastor, as well as the congregation who did not call him, will be tainted and difficult to resolve. Likewise, the next pastor may be suspicious and unable to develop the needed level of trust. Someone is reading this and saying “yes, but.” You are right that there are exceptions to all rules. However, I have seen many staff members moved along but rarely one who functioned in a healthy way as a staff member under a new leader for a position to which he aspired. Let me be clear that I am not suggesting this is necessarily a spiritual issue. I love the Lord but sometimes wrestle with  relationships. The issues relate more to a sociological leadership dynamic than a spiritual issue. Staff members who are interested in taking the lead need to be aware of this.

Fourth, if a staff member has been submitted as a candidate, formally or informally, the Pastor Search Team needs to deal with that candidate first and come to a decision before moving forward. Why? Because either intentionally or unintentionally,  he will be building a following (of greater numbers) as the months pass and if he is not called, the disappointments will result in the loss of many members at best and division at worst. I’ve seen it happen many times. Let me add that the strategy of hijacking the disappointed members to launch a new work down the road and calling it a church plant is not ethical. A genuine healthy church plant is done with the total affirmation and support of the sending church.

Be prayerful. Be deliberate. Be wise. This is not exhaustive but hopefully will fuel a healthy conversation if you or someone you know is dealing with a similar scenario.

We know that the number one reason a person visits your church because they were invited by a friend or a relative. But will they come back? Their return for a second visit is for a totally different reason. Do you know what it is? How do you communicate to your members how to receive and treat guests? Did you know that the scripture gives insight to this important issue? I invite you to join me as I preached on this subject on Father’s Day a couple of years ago. The subject is as timely today and I believe you will be both challenged and encouraged. Enjoy! https://vimeo.com/302921816

Check that. I mis-spoke. But hopefully the title got your attention. What I meant to say is “why you should absolutely take all of your vacation time without fail.” Throughout my ministry I have encountered leaders who bemoaned the fact toward the end of the calendar year that they did not use all of their vacation days. When this is done it is often shrouded in a subtle suggestion that they have worked so hard that they did not have time to take all of their vacation days. But that is not the way that I hear them when they make this statement either as a complaint or a boast. I look at the person, I smile, and in my mind I’m thinking “I’m so sorry you are mismanaging your time.” If someone did not take the time allotted to them it is because they struggle with prioritizing, personal time management, or both.

My intent is not to offend you if you have made this statement yourself but to challenge you to think differently. Here are three reasons you should take all of the vacation time that has been allotted to you.

First is because your vacation time does not solely belong to you. What? Your vacation time also belongs to your spouse. It belongs to your family. Failure to take time away means that you are withholding time from them. You may counter that you don’t enjoy time with your family. That is a totally different issue but it actually reinforces the point. Take the time and whatever steps are needed to repair or improve on relationships with your spouse, children, grandchildren, or parents. Give your family your time. That is the most valuable gift of all. Give it without apology and give it without fail.

Second, time away refreshes and recharges you so that you can be more productive when you are back at work. It may be that you own a business or you are the person “in charge” and you fear that everything will fall apart if you are away. Once again this reveals a gap in your leadership. Suppose you don’t take time off so that you can always have your hands in the day to day operations or ministry. But what happens the day you fall ill or are involved in an unexpected accident and you are compelled to be away for days or months? At least on vacation you are available to consult to some degree though you are away. Being away allows others to step up, allows you to think about things that will improve your work, and makes you more appreciative of your work if you are blessed to be engaged with work that you love. If you don’t enjoy your work, again, that is a different issue and this exhortation is probably not applicable for you anyway.

Third, a healthy life is a balanced life. It is not acceptable to be lazy and I don’t imagine you tolerate laziness for those who work around you. However, it is equally egregious to be so captivated by your work that you can’t get away for a few days. Those people are known as “workaholics.” You can take cruise, head to the mountains, take a staycation with time off at home, take a missions trip,  or a week of sabbatical. Your time away may be to relax, travel, serve, or even work on those unfinished tasks around your home. Are you balanced? Do you work hard? You should. But a balanced person enjoys family time, play time, relax time, serve time and work is a joy when all is in balance.

I am in the midst of a heavy week at work  and I’m “busting it” to get the job done. But I’ve got to wrap this up because I’m off on Monday through Wednesday next week. I have had the day’s marked off for several months and they are locked in to my calendar. I’m looking forward to it and by Wednesday I’ll be anxious to get back to my work!

A few quick notes and facts to set up the point of this post. First, a High School grad who is still in church six months from now, is 138% more likely to still be in church at age 35 if they are still actively engaged as of next Thanksgiving. This is a critical six month window we are now entering. Secondly, few churches have a plan to help grads with the transition. What is the plan for your church? Thirdly, most post HS grads have never had to find a church and don’t know what to do. 

Therefore, I am giving my list that I use to mentor High School grads on how to find a church if and when they move away from home. Take my list, edit it, improve on it, but most of all, spend time with your High School juniors and seniors preparing them to find a church once they move away. Here is my list…

How to find a new church once you move away…

1. Be committed to worship every Sunday. That does not mean you never miss but if you don’t commit it is very easy to begin to drift away.
2. Go with friends if you can…but don’t base your commitment to worship on who will be there or who will attend with you. Go to worship with or without your friends.
3. When you visit, try to arrive a few minutes early and don’t rush out when the service is over. Give people a chance to interact with you. Remember that interaction is a two way street. You be friendly too (even when you are visiting).
4. You may not find a church like your home church. There is only one (insert name of your church here). Find a doctrinally sound, Bible teaching church.
5. Get recommendations from your current church leaders or other pastors you respect to determine potential churches to visit.
6. Visit a church more than once to really see what it is like. A church that you are not impressed with on a first visit may grow on you after several visits.
7. Do you consider yourself spiritually mature? If so, stop looking for a “good church.” Instead, you might consider purposefully attending a struggling church to help them out instead of a popular church.
8. Find out what the church believes about the Bible. That is a key. 
9. If you will permanently be living in a new community, join a church in that community. If you are there just temporarily, ask church leaders about “watch care” which is a version of membership for temporary residents.
10. If you find a friendly, Bible-teaching church with great music and great preaching…that is great. But are you committed if you cannot find that? You should be if your priorities are in place.
11. Get involved in a small group once you determine the church that you will join or attend regularly.
12. When you are back home for breaks or holidays continue to be faithful to your home church.
13. Sincerely pray throughout the process and genuinely seek a place to worship faithfully. Give yourself six or eight weeks (maximum) to visit around and then get locked in so that you can worship, get to be part of the local church community, and begin to serve on some level.

Did you know that the most critical six month window in the life of a teen who grows up in your  church are the six months following High School graduation? That means between now and Thanksgiving you will be doing your most important ministry with those students. Unfortunately, many churches approach graduation as if the work is done in terms of discipleship of teens. Nothing could be further from the truth. The next six months are the most critical. Here are some questions your church should be addressing?

1. How will we recognize our graduates this month? That is the obvious one that most churches already take care of.
2. When will we meet with Juniors and Seniors to orient them for the transition to post High School life?
3. How will we equip our students (who will move away) to find a church?
4. How will we follow up with our students who are away at college/military/new job to keep them accountable?
5. What will we provide for our students who do not move away, those home for summer and weekends, and those living in our community who are not current members?
6. How will we help those who move away to find a new church?

Why does this matter? A High School graduate from your church who is still actively involved in church next Thanksgiving is 138% more likely to still be in church at age 35 and beyond than one who disconnects in the next six months. (From the research in Why They Stay). The responsibility for these members of your congregation is far from over. Gather with key leaders to address these questions for this year and from this point forward. I also encourage you to view this message I shared a couple of years back about “Why Young Adults are Walking Away.” It will give you more insight to keep those who grow up in your church connected for life.  https://vimeo.com/302910635